月亮忘记了

每个人每天都要看不同的风景，听不同的音乐，过着新的生活。世界是一切物质在永不停歇无规则的运动。地球同样在转，太阳一样的升起，但是感觉到不一样…每个人都有自己的曾经，每个人都有属于他们自己的往事。虽说是往事也已经事过境迁，该忘掉的就该把他忘掉。谁都会这么说，多么的动听！但办得到吗？真的那么容易把所谓的往事，过去曾经所发生的一切像粉笔字般擦得一干二净！朋友，你说得没错，就算我每天都笑脸迎人开开心心的过，但每当晚上夜深人静时就会开始思考开始想起记起一切，终究还是偷偷的哭泣眼泪淌了下来！就算表面上已经忘记了，其实也只不过是舒缓自己情绪的一种做法罢了！。或许这么说好让自己能过得舒服些吧！我们总是很拼命的想把一些事情遗忘，但其之后才察觉到遗忘并不难却也谈不上容易。还很在乎吧也很介意吧，不是吗？没关系就让自己尽情的在乎尽情的介意，疯狂的情绪之后；或许能清楚地知道自己该怎么做。至少，应该停此互相伤害吧；也应该停此伤害自己！一时三刻要你忘记是不可能的。给自己定下期限吧，每个人都需要时间，我也一样你也不列外。時間是給予所有的解決。牵手走过的这条路，分手了也在继续走吧。那么就不要回头，继续走！很多时候，过去是无从思念。遗失了发黄的照片，遗失了曾经保存很久的东西，遗失了枯萎的记忆…伸出手，抓不住任何东西。也许，总有些东西会留在生命最深处，深深浅浅的痕迹。不是没办法完全的遗忘也不是没办法完全的舍弃这些记忆；只是偶尔会想起那些当初…好像所有的轻狂所有的不羁，都可以在那个阶段找到理由！眼泪的存在，是为了证明悲伤不是一场幻觉；淡一点的疤还是疤。人类始终是人类，有情绪有感情也是感性的动物。人生中，有许多种爱，但别让它成为一种伤害！有些时候有些地方，我们轻易的找到幸福，然而有时候有些地方，我们再怎么努力，也遇不到一点点的快乐。有的东西你再留恋，也注定要放弃！

一个对海鲜敏感的人

S小姐,我答应过你的！怎么会这样呢？起因是… …一个月前的某一天…介于某些因素你游览到某个部落客的部落格。在阅读他人部落格之时，你发现别人的部落有些关于身边的朋友！忽然，你就在msn跟我抱怨说，怎么我们俩从朋友到现在好朋友，我都没为你写过一篇关于你的！于是，我就答应了你会抽出时间为你而写！3年前，2006年…刚搬家不久，还在纳闷该怎么办！去年中五毕业之后就去报读LCCI @ SEGi College！上课第一天，走进班望一眼没看见认识的朋友。算了，随便找个位子坐下来。没和任何人交谈就一个人坐！就这样，上了半天的课！中途休息时间，全都排队拿课本当然我也不列外。就在等待的那一刻，你走过来和我说话！在那之后开始，我们上课就坐在一起；当知道原来我们俩的家就住在附近，我么就连回家都一起！日子久了，去上课一起，在班一起坐，回家也一起，考试也一起！我们就是这样认识的…LCCI毕业后,开始就读ACCA.没想到，就连学院都选同一间(KSA)…相同的，我们一起去上课，一起坐，一起回家，差不多连去厕所都一起！直到今天…我们依然就读同样的学院。绝大部分的人都说我们长得很相似所以总被误以为我们是两姐妹！虽然不是真正的两姐妹，但其实没有什么分别。因为你比任何人更了解我！今年年头开始，我们不同班（因为你一次拿3张，而笨的我一次拿2张）。起初，还担心我们之间会不会因为这样而变得有距离变得冷淡。没有你坐在我隔壁我真的很不习惯。真的真的很不习惯。若我聪明一些就不会有这样的问题咯！哈哈！所幸的是感情依然维持！仍然一起出去，一起去疯狂。有什么事，我依旧会找你商量会找你倾诉找你‘麻烦’=) 而你也一样有什么都会告诉我！还记得我一遇到过多压力，舒解压力的坏习惯，总让身边的朋友担心操心。朋友之中，虽然你是唯一一个看到我在伤害自己也没有骂我的；但我知道其实你很关心我。只是看到我这么做，就让我做；因为你清楚地知道我不会笨到令自己死掉算了！那只是我舒解压力的方式！我很怕肥，总是不吃东西。最后，弄出病来逼得进医院，令‘胃痛’有机可乘的找上我。而你总是劝我多少也吃一点，逼都要逼到我吃一点！我脾气不好很小姐脾气，但你总是体谅我迁就我。每次当考试接近，我都很压力很紧张不能放松！就一个劲地读读读也不睡觉。你总会劝我说这样不行，至少要睡觉要适当休息。这样的知己朋友，哪里找！我能为你做的？？呵呵…就是我们一起出去逛街疯狂时，不去有海鲜的地方吃！因为啊…你对海鲜敏感！若问要我给你多少分你有85分！扣掉的15分是因为…你太高了！3年了。原来我们两个认识有3年了！3年时间虽然不短但也算不上是段很长的时间！但我想让你知道，我是真的真的很珍惜我们之间的友情和我们之间所建立的感情和默契！

开始决裂的我们（问题篇）

想撇下我一个很容易，跟我说一声就行了！不用做那么多小动作，干干脆脆地说声就得了，反正这大半年都是一个人在‘游’。还以为考试过了就会没事，大家或许都因为考试而变得这么样。好像不太对经，考试过了大家反而时间多了，时间多了自然思考的时间也相对的增加了，问题也坦然的全部一一地都呈现出来。这次并不是原因，问题早就存在，只是没有去理会就因为一直天真地以为是考试期间所以大家会这样。原来，其实不是因为考试而变成这样。或许应该说，因为考试所以没有时间去多想，现在考完试时间多了文理反而更清楚更多！这一大半年前，我早就该退出不应该再维持在你们之间吧！见面少了，倾诉少了，话题少了，什么都少了就连坦白也少了。某人对我说，不要这么难过懊恼，这次若垮的过我们之间的友情就会系得更紧更巩固。话虽如此但我真的能不担心能不去想吗。不可能，我不可能不去想！我很坦诚，所有的一切都在改变而且是很大的变化。难道，有什么就不能直截了当有商有量的整理一番吗？很痛苦很辛苦也很无奈。原来我们的关系是那么的脆弱那么的儿戏。不想去承认却不由得我不默认！是时候我该找个角落找个地方把自己藏起来，可以尽情地哭！我不会在你们面前让你们看见我的眼泪。就当我很爱面子吧！我不是没有尝试要谈谈我们之间到底有什么出错但这些事我肯谈也要你们也愿意谈才行！你们很害怕会担心没有话题和对方谈。你害怕她生气了不回你信息没话谈，结果呢没话可谈的是我和你不是你和她；你和害怕跟她沟通不来所以要我也一起去，结果呢你们俩谈得如此投契，剩我一个独自坐一旁没话谈。但我想说不只你们会害怕我也会害怕会担心我们这份友情就这样完了。你们总说我没有站在你们的角度思考过，那么你们又是否有站在我的角度从而思考呢！认错吗？好啊，就当所有的一切都是我的错！我错在自己这么笨，没跟得上你们般拿那么多张纸，我错在就算那同一张纸却不同导师，我错在一心只顾着自己的学业没多理会你们的感受你们的心情。相处时间渐渐减少，和你们之间的距离相隔得越来越远，一切都是我的错！我其实很怕跟不上你们的步伐，就知道自己比别人笨所以才会一味的只顾着自己的学业要至少跟得上你们而忽略了身边人的感受。我总表现出一副无所谓的样子吧，所以你们总会觉得我好像真的很无所谓。其实不是，我其实很在意，只是放在心上没说出口。就是因为在意因为在乎很在乎所以很害怕失去。把所有的事全闷在心里其实很难受，我真的很辛苦，心真的真的很痛，痛得我不知道如何是好，很痛恨我自己恨的很想杀死自己。既然这样，倒不如我一个人退出。或许问题得以解决吧！

ACCA DEC’08 Exam stress and pressure

Oh god.. Stress! My stress, pressure and tension start again. Exam is near, left less than 1 month to go. Everytime exam getting near I’ll probably gone mad and can’t sleep. Family, my sister, they didn’t give me any stress, don’t even force me to study or anything. But, this makes me feel more stressful and more pressure. Because of responsibility and also I must not disappointed them especially my sister. She’s the one who pay all my ACCA study fees, annual member fees and exam paper fees. I can’t disappointed her. Therefore, I must work very hard and do my very best to make sure that I can pass my exam. These few days as well do revision until very late. Yesterday just get scolded by mummy, 5am still doing revision haven’t go to bed take rest and sleep. All of the pressure, comes from myself my own, nobody give me any pressure. DEC 2008 is near, ACCA exam is near. I’m dumb and stupid. Thus I cannot be lazy, I must put much more efford and do my very best to be well prepare enough to enter the exam hall sit for the exam. I know I can be dumb but I can never be lazy. Things that dumb people can do is put much more efford than others do. Dumb, never a reason when you fail or lose. There’s no reason for me to fail any of the papers as Adolph Hitler says : ” If you win you need not explain…But if you lose you should not be there to explain.”

Thanks for the birthday suprise!

Although this Saturday 11 October only is my birthday but I really appeciated that you all take your time to plan and celebrate 5 days early with me. 07 October 2008, memorable and wonderful day. Shan cheating me that want to shops around and buy clothes. Actually they already planned to celebrate my birthday with me.Such a big suprise! It’s really suprising me and I really appreciated on what you all have done for me. Erlene, Cindy, Shan, Raj, thanks to you all, really very touched, thanks for accompany me whole day long. By the way, Erlene, Cindy, Shan, LikWen,Daphne, Vnie, Leanne, Michael, Raj thanks for the wishes, the gifts and the birthday card. Love it very much. Other than thanks, I really don’t know what else I can say. =)Take good care and bLessing..

这13年… …

虽说过去的已很遥远但，淡一点的疤还是疤！算一算，你已经离开我们13年了，真的是段漫长的日子。起初是很不习惯，日子久了渐渐习惯了！你去世之后，最难熬最难过的人是妈咪。她一直都很坚强的生活着，自己面对所有的一切！更坚强的是从来没有想过要抛弃要放弃我们。至于生意倒是没有继续就是了。你去世之后，很多事情都改变了，生活改变了，妈咪变了，哥哥变了，姐姐变了，还有其它其它的东西都改变了！哥哥（Kelvin）变得爱逞强有什么事都放在心里头没说出来，妈咪一直在担心，他一直放在心里。尤其自从Australia回来之后，整个人变得更加的沉默总是一副忧郁的表情，妈咪更为他操心。daddy你在的话或许不会变成这样吧！姐姐（Elainne）嘛，虽然以前小时不怎么喜欢说话，但不用为她操心，家里最聪明机灵就是她又坚强。迅速又漂亮的从ACCA毕业后有份好工作高薪水。她去年嫁人了，找到好老公，两个都可以算是同行，大家都替他们高兴！你还在的话一定也很高兴很开心！我嘛，虽然小时后是爱哭鬼但，你离开之后就不再是了。现在，坚强多了没那么容易流眼泪也没有以前那么弱小！不过，天气不好时也会胡思乱想一通！前一阵子多年前，心里头曾埋怨过妈咪为什么你离去后就只有我记住在朋友家！渐渐长大，了解到是怎么一回事是为了什么也就没再埋怨什么了。之后有一段时间，总在不知不觉地伤害自己留下了疤痕！不过已经想通了，了解了，也成熟了。现在的我，每天都欢笑过日子；就算有些天心情再怎么失落但我仍然微笑开心地度过每一天！弟弟（Andrew），今年中三了！前一阵子他的确做出伤害妈咪事。不过，现在听话很多。他和elainne一样读书天才但，就和kelvin总是火星撞地球，跟elainne和我感情就很好虽然有些时候还是有吵嘴但感情好，总是气妈咪。你去世时，他才3岁大现在16岁了！他总是说，虽然那时才3岁不过记得你的样子清清楚楚。你若看见现在长到这么大的他，一定很满足，很开心！至于妈咪，你去世之后的她，性格脾气都变得很难顶。前几年开始没做你们以前那行了。她转做casket & funeral service，也很不错没什么不好！最近这几年，脾气没那么暴躁了。不过有时候还是会埋怨说为什么你那么快就去世了！正常吧，我也一样… …阴天雨天，特别的想念你！我相信，kelvin,elainne,andrew他们都一样！你不必为我们操心什么了，因为我们都成长了！妈咪，也活得很好很开心！虽然你的去世，我们失去了你。但我们也得到其它；kelvin找到将成为我大嫂的女朋友，elainne找到好老公幸福快乐，我找到现在这一班好朋友，andrew找到他念书的理由和快感，妈咪也找到她自己生活的乐趣！最近……阴天雨天的……让我又开始想念了，回忆起很多从前但，我会好好的；我们都会好好的！

Face it or Evade

随着时间的流逝，人长大了，要面对的事情就越来越复杂，遇到的困难也越来越多，难题也越来越难。人，很奇妙！当面对一大堆的困难与难题就越不想面对；反而很想逃避。宁愿把难题放置一旁，让时间慢慢的将它遗忘。以为这样就等于把难题解决了！我深信”everything happens for a reason”。 God will never gives problems without solutions!要解决难题并不是件容易的事但，收获却很丰富！至少，尝试去解决！就那样做着呆等什么都不做，难道会迎刃而解吗！这个现代社会，让我们都变得懒散变得懒惰，解决问题懒惰，连说对不起也懒。事情的发生，不会只是单单一方面出错单方面的过错！无风不起浪，一个巴掌拍不响。我们总是为了不必要的执著和顽固，为了那高得很的自尊，就连说声‘对不起’都不愿意！有些时候，那些所谓的自尊是不是应该适时地放下呢；还是说，自尊比任何其他事情更重要？对这世界绝望觉得活得不快乐吗？那是因为曾经品尝过快乐的滋味所以才感受到什么是不快乐！能活在这个世界上已经是最大的快乐不是吗？人不可以没有要求。因为没有要求就不会有进步！但也不能对生活上过分的要求。受了小小的挫折小小的打击就说不想活了！不觉得很无知吗？这个世界上，有些人就连想要活久一点的权利都没有；反而活着的人说不想活！想找死吗？尽管去死！我可以肯定，你一定会后悔！当面对生命的黑暗面感到疑惑无助灰心的时候，别忘记活着是一种当然的权利；没错，我们可能不满意的活着，但死亡却永远不能填补这种不满！人生路途，经历失败是当然的！失败，表示我们曾经努力过，奋斗过；但也不能每当失败就帮自己找出一大堆的歪理和借口。很多事情，换个角度思考，真的会有所不同；但重点是，心也要跟着有所改变！一直沉迷于过去的人是不会进步的！过去很不堪，那都已经过去了！有必要一直回想自己的过去有多么不堪吗！别忘了，眼前还有一道更广阔的路需要自己去走。就当做是为了自己而努力，努力地改变自己的生活！朋友，该说的也已经说过了，该劝的我也已经劝过了！说得太多，你会觉得烦！很多事情你应该清楚知道该怎么处理！要记得，这世界是很大很广阔很辽阔的！死，并不是最佳的解决方法；死了，问题依然存在！死，只会让你身边的人伤心流泪！

I'm not a good friend !

Am I consider a good friend? I really don't know. I think I'd question a question that no answer. Who can tell me the answer?For me, I don't think I consider such a good friend. Why? I don't know. Its just a feeling from myself feels that I'm not a good friends!The only thing I know and I very sure that is, No matter how, I will never giving up my friendship. Never. I will treasure my friendship as you all did. I promise from the beginning til now and then. At others eyes of view, I'm a tough, strong, cheerful person. Anyhow, sometimes... everybody had forgotten that I'm a girl too. On what they can see, everybody thought that I'm a cheerful person. Longer and longer, they forget. They forget that I'm a girl too. They forgot that, sometimes I needs cares too. They forgot that, sometimes I will upset too. They forgot that, sometimes I had a feelings wanna cry too. Because, no matter what happens. I will not show or tells my feelings to friends. Even close friends. I don't want them to worry about me. Sometimes, I feel tired too. I'm not trying to pretended happy or cheerful in front of people. Just that, day pass every minutes every second every hours. So, no matter happy or unhappy... Earth still round, Time still walks.. Nothing will stop. That's why I make sure myself to be cheerful everyday. End up, everything keep inside my heart, never told. Even family also I never told. Maybe it's one of the way that I protect myself from being/getting hurt. Friends told me that, don't be over self-protect, it's not a good behaviours. They told me that, I should at least let some friends get closer into my heart.. at least let them know what's happening on me.. This is what so called 'FRIENDS'.. They told me, not they don't want to know more about me; the problem is everytime people get closer wanna know more, I will keep myself away from them. The other problem is, I always think too much. Once heard that among friends, 1 of them don't like another 1, my negative thinking will come to me.. and I will start thinking whether the person my friend dislike is me or not!?!?!? Once I heard somebody hate another party, I will think whether the person is me or others!?!? My negative thinking just like never ending sticks with me. What can I do!?

Misunderstanding

That day (10th September 2008), what was gone wrong that day? People? Timing? Question? Feelings? Craps? Gossips? I really don’t know and i can’t judge who’s right who’s wrong! Friendship is fragile But I trust both of them. Even before that day i already heard about the issue. One thing i can very sure that is, I never ever suspect what Shan said to me. On the other hand, when Shan knew that Cindy actually knew all about the issue. She don’t know how to face Cindy. Probably, she scared Cindy will think she’s don’t know what kind of person and maybe will not be so friend like last time. All because we CARES! That day mid-night Cindy told me that she cried, she very scared that Shan don’t wan her. Shan told me, she cried too. Both of them out of control. Both cried. All I can do is console them. Make sure they’re alright. All will be like before nothing changes. So, the easier way is, face to face talk about the issue. As i said, past is not that important! Now and this moment is more important. The next day also i very worry about them. I really scared of close best friendship will just gone like this.
Shan , Cindy, u both really didn’t mention to me wanna play withing Prince. Both of u really makes me worry a lot a lot. Not I think too much.. I treasure our friendship too… u know? In the fact that is, end up i’m the one that blur on the half way.. Anyways, all these already become a past tense. I hope that this will never happens again among us.. And so this is what Cindy promise to me, both of u will not happens anything that making our friendship have any changes.. Friends forever.. Bless u all always..

Wonderful & Memorable Day 26 AUGUST 2008

Yesterday... 26 AUGUST 2008, TUESDAY... It's actually already planned for some times that want to go out have some funs. The one who suggest is our friend Lik Wen (Prince). Well, why his nick name is--Prince? This is because our beloved Cindy (Apple Princess). She started this on me. My nick name become--Banana.That day, 26 AUGUST 2008. Early morning Shan message me asked me to online. This is because Shan, Cindy and LikWen also no need attend for class. So Cindy plan to change the destiny. That is don't want to go KLCC but go somewhere else. Then... the whole morning around 9am until 10am++ 3 of us are discussing either go Mid-Valley or 1 Utama. But after the 1 hour++ discussing also we cannot decide. Because we don't know whether the driver (LikWen) can or cannot. End up, we just wait until he come to fetch Shan and me then only ask him see whether he agree to go 1 Utama or not. Luckily, the answer doesn't dissapointed us! He said can!
1pm++ he reached Shan's home to fetch Shan and me. All the way we have talks, chats, jokes... That's a good things. Because last time he really very quiet. Before 1 Utama we need to go Cindy's home to fetch our beloved Princess too. And so we drive to her home... But then only I realised that Cindy see watch is up-side-down.. 3 & 9 is terbalik one... haha.. After that, reach 1 Utama, parked car then go GSC see whether which movie wanna watch. The final decision is watch 'Mirrors' ticket time is 15:50. 4 of us agreed and no problem for that so we buy tickets. Lunch time... but me and Shan breakfast also haven't take. So ask Cindy suggest where to eat. So we go eat Shabu Shabu and the restaurant is playing Jacky Cheung's songs. Yesterday onwards, everytime listen Jacky Cheung's songs sure I will remember 26 AUGUST 2008.. =). By the way, thanks LikWen treated us lunch. Really thanks a lot and appreciated it very much. Then we walk around. I bought nice stuff from Perlini's Silver. I like it very much, must say thanks to Shan. Because she help me to choose the most suitable 1... =) Time reached 17:50. We go back to GSC andthe show end around 19:30. It's not horrible as I think and it's not scary as well. It's very disappointed me as well as them too I think! Then.. it's dinner time. Our dinner place is Chilis... Awsome... Shan end up didnt take or even try lamb...This is the day that the more photos we've take.. around 80 photos... Then LikWen sent us home.. Reached home, got Cindy and Shan message me telling their feelings and thoughts.Shan: "hey,this is my 1st time go out till so late..really thanks loo..although got a bit 'yi han' coz didnt go sing k,but nvm coz next week tuesday v can go sing k.. sweet dream loo..must dream bout me."
Cindy: " 4 loh.. cannot sleep leh.. 脑海里想的都是刚才的画面！very funny ar.. be4 give my sis use pc i go n c 1 more time the pic.. Really very ugly a.. "

It's really a wonderful and memorable day for me, Shan and Cindy at least...

Health and Result

ACCA June 2008 Exam Result already came out on 18 August 2008. At the same day, I went out with LiShan and Cindy. The purpose very simple, be happy 1st, sad later. And so we meet at Sg.Wang around 11am++ . Our booking on RedBox at LowYat Plaza is 2pm. But before that i'd already promised my sister help her to pick the jacket and also help my mummy to buy some cosmetics stuff. Then only we go LowYat Plaza to confirm our booking. In between while waiting Cindy arrive. Me and LiShan had our breakfast at OldTown Cafe. Then when Cindy reached we actually planning to walk around. But then, the LikWen suddenly message LiShan saying that he already checked his ACCA results. Oh My Godness! Our mood all gone... gone bad and worry. Opposite OldTown is CyberCafe and so we planned to checked result first then only go for our early planning. After checking, 3 of us also failed 1 papers. Obviously not the same papers. LikWen, you're a mood destroyer!! Anyhow, we still follow our palnning to enjoy ourselves and cheers ourselves. Before that the important is call friends around asking how was others results and also tell our family about our result how was it been. LiShan called her mother, her mother is very kind of course didn't even scold her. Cindy said tell when back home. Me... message to my brother-in-law and tell him first before i tell my sister. And as I know, my sister will check my result by her own. I know I dissapointed her. This is not what I wish or wanted to be also. I really put my efford on it, class I never missed, homeworks do more never do less, PYQ done all. But still i can get such result. I really don't know what else I can say about. Others friend's result also not that good and majority of them work much more harder than me. I'm sure that they're more upset than me and I also don't know how to console them.
Recently my health gone worst. Yesterday stomach ache gastric until can sleep. And so on until today also haven't cure my gastric pain even though I already took medicine but it doesn't cure. What else I can do. I already fed up to take medicine everyday other than gastric medicine as well. It's suffering me. What to do!

ChildHood memory of my Primary School Life

Today clean my room again... Found that a lots of childhood photos and also primary's, secondary's photos.. It's really very memorable for me. And all these photos meant a lot to me. Those photos full of memorable memories and happiness time between myself and all my beloved friends!
1st Primary's school of S.R.J.K(C) Puay Chai (Year 1995 to 1998) at Petaling Jaya. I just study from Standard 1 until Standard 4. I still remember my classmate name! Especially the boy Jimmy Chin Jin Han. I really attracted by him at that time. Intelligent, smart, hardworking, treat me very well and handsome too. Also I remember his birthday party last time, he invited me to attend too. Of course I attended it :). He was my 1st best friend. They all treated me very well, no doubt on this, especially him. That time they all knew that my dad passed away already, they all very caring & concern me. ( Last time Petaling Jaya area nobody don't know my daddy's shop! ) The other friend Jenny Kok Chek Yen and her mother treated me very good too. Everytime when we having extra class, her mother bought her lunch sure will bought mine also. McDonald's, KFC, or rice... That moment, that time, really very touched. I can still remember how weak I am on that time. Whoever asked about my dad in front of me sure my tears flow out and can't stop. But because of their concern, makes me become strong and I stand up again and face the truth. Especially Jimmy Chin, Jenny Kok, Tan Siu Hong, Christina Lim, and Sheldorn Wong. Thanks a lot and I really appreciated very much. Sheldorn Wong, from Taiwan, follow his family migrated to Malaysia and same class with me (Standard 4). Because of him, I always study hard, work much more harder in my Bahasa Cina paper. Reason is because every time exam he also get 5 marks higher than me. Although my pronous of Chinese very bad but my essay and writting is very good. Everytime exam, I get 80 marks; he sure get 85 marks. I get 90marks he sure will get 95marks. Anyhow, we are very best friend. When he got the news from teacher that I gonna change n transfer to another school at KL, he present me a small bottle of 'xiang si dou'... He said it means he will miss me like the present that he gave me. BeeLian on the other hand, present me a good luck things; that means all the best for my new life..Their name somehow will ever remains deeply inside my heart and my memory. I will not forget how good they treated me. How well they treated me. Presents that they gave to me even until now still i keep in safely:)
Year 1999.Finally new school, new environment. S.R.J.K.(C)Chiao Nan. 2nd Primary school that I study. Standard 5 and Standard 6 (Year 1999 to 2000) 2 years time. I can still remember the 1st day i get into the class, SooMun is the 1st person who place me a sit with chair. There's no doubt that Petaling Jaya area school's standards is much more higher than KL Setapak. Anyways, classmates at this school also not bad. Consider kind and friendly too. Although I knew them just a very short period (2 years) but they're very friendly. That's obviously true.Eventhough until now I still keep in touch with some of them- EstherSoo, EllieSiu, SooMun, HuiYin, WaiKhey, SueHui, KeanChun, ChiewYee, ShawnHue, EricLim, WaiHoong... They also brings me a lot of joyful time, happiness moment. Although we'd arguement with few of them last time but end ups witha happy ending until now and then too.. That's more than enough. Who's right who's wrong sometimes not that important..
Human grow up everyday, earth self-turn everyday and we're changing everyday every second every moment. Last time, a little small matter also we can argue.Thinked back that time, really childish and naive. But it's a path for us to grow up and understand more.Anyhow, naive time had already become past tense. Now the more important is our future tense. Although we are taking different path on our future. I still wish all of you all the best n god bless you to overcome whatever problem. Friendship always be there for those who treasure it.
All the best to you all, good luck in whatever things u all do.

Gathering Primary School

Yesterday was a nice day! Yesterday gather with my primary school's friends. The day before, I chatting with Eric on msn and thought that want to persuade him to go for the gathering as well. But failed... Because he already bought for bus ticket of 11:30am to go back Kampar UTAR there for study purpose. Obviously I'm blaming him that he can't attend for the gathering but he blame me back that I didnt told him early so that he can pospone 1 day to went back Kampar. End ups, the gathering no changes. Only 3 person-me,Shawn,Hoong... The place for gathering is quite far for me.. Subang Parade.. Ii's far for me because i don't know drive, don't even have a driving license..
Such a long hour gathering.. chit chatting, walk around.. Reached home already 7pm++
It's a tired day too..

YUZU Japanese Restaurant@ The Gardens (MidValley)

Today is a enjoyable day! Early morning wake up at 8am++ after finished prepared waiting for my sister to come over and pick me up. Then, accompany her go for dentist at Suband,Taipan to check the 'wisdom' teeth.Perhaps, in cantonese its called 'wisdom' teeth. Her teeth causes her very painful and no mood for several already. After the dentist treatment, she feels better. So today go for final checking... All the way to destination, there're no traffic jam at all :)
After that, we go Subang, the 'friend' house to cut hair. The girl that cut hair for us we already know her almost over 10years.. She's an expertise in hair styling and cutting. But don't know what reasons she close down her shop and just continue her work at her house. Of course my sis already booked for apointment few weeks ago (I think). Spent almost 1 hour to finished cutted hair. I'm very satisfied and my sis do so.
Then, we're already very hungry. Because morning until afternoon also we haven't eat anything even breakfast. So my sis decide to bring me to YUZU Japanese Restaurant at The Gardens, Mid Valley. The restaurant have a very great environment, Design of the restaurant is very good. Of course, the food is fresh very tasty and also very healthy.
Although it's a little bit expensive but it's really worth it (because my sis pay bill) and compare with 1 Utama, Sushi Zan Mai. YUZU is much more tasty. Even tasty than Genki Sushi, Sushi Zan Mai and also Jogoya at Star Hill. The only ala-carte that not very satisfied is Tempura. Jogoya Restaurant at Star Hill is still the best. Anyhow, the most fresher japanese food is still Benkay Japanese Restaurant at Nikko Hotel Kuala Lumpur :)
After finishing our wonderful lunch we walk around. Later then, she fetch me back home...
Today is a Wonderful and Enjoyable day for me..

Friends I Miss, Things I Worry

Recently, life still stay the same. Busy on my studies and studies and studies. Nothing special but it's adventurous, fantastic, challenging. This is my studies. Already 1 year plus I taking ACCA course... Actually it's not that hard to study but it's also not that easy to complete.
This year is the other half year. Taking F6-Taxation and F7-Financial Reporting. Majority of my friends previous sitting took 3 papers F4, F5, F6; so this sitting taking F7,F8,F9. Actually it's not a big deal for me. But the big problem is that, I already used to be together with them. We laughs, jokes, having funs around the class, college even when lunch time... ...Shan, Cindy, Daphne, Lik Wen, Raj, Junn, Ern and... ... And now, left me out because we choose different lecturer. Which lecturer is better? It's all depends on own point of views and opinion. No better No worst. All just depends. But the facts is, at the moment we choosing different lecturer we'll meet each others lesser and lesser. I haven't used to it until today. Although already 1 month.
Anyways, brand new classmates, brand new friends. They all not bad but not that funs and jokes as you all. Even though they not that funs and jokes but there're one thing that similarly to you all, that is they also very kind and friendly. Perhaps... and they do. So, I consider as happy as last time too. Just that doesn't laughs and jokes that often as before only.
Today's, is one of the day that I realise my friend (even not that close) very care about me. He is a very jind and friendly person. I won't deny this. When lunch time he even called me and asked me whether have anyone accompany me to go for lunch. If no, then he can accompany me for lunch. You know, it's very touched and i appreciates it very much. Thanks to you here.
Besides, 18 August 2008. It's a very important date for me. ACCA result for June 2008 Exam will be held at that date (18 Aug '08). Although I already try my very best in exam and be well prepared before exam. But I still very worry about my result. The paper that I feel easy, my friends feel tough; the other hand, the paper that i feel tough, they feel easy. Suddenly, my confidence all gone at one moment. All gone... ... I know that worry about it also useless because can't change anythings end up. Anyways, I should be brave to face my results...

Recently

Recently! Recently life still stay the same, busy on my ACCA course studies and also waiting for my F4-Law n F5-Performance Management papers result that will be held out on August. By the way, starting from July 2008. The biggest changes for me is that i can't go college so often together with my dearest best friend Li Shan as last time and also can't meet Cindy, Daphne, Vnie and... ... so often. All this is because we're choosing different lecturer for the papers. If some one really asking me whether which lecturer is much more better? Then I sure will answer that, all this is depends. Depends on what matter yourself prefer! Dearest Li Shan... no one can replace ur position in my heart! Just as u told me before on msn that day. I remember and keep it inside my heart and my mind!Although we live very near, just opposite highway... BUT u must always accompany me go for shopping when I want to go! :) So that u can give me some opinions! Cindy... Do u know that without u around I can't even find another person that can jokes with me like u! And this will makes me laugh lesser :( Remember those craziness times that we all had together? Those funniest jokes craziness talk, funny name like 'banana' that i doesn't know what it means to me! haha... I will always remember and keep it in my mind. Will u? Although u live quite far from me, but when free must go out together as last time ya! Don't even try to simply forgotten me. I will KILL u ;) Times run 'n' run, counting here n there my time... ACCA course I already study 1 years. Within this 1 years, I had never fail on any papers yet. But I'm worrying and wondering how my F5 result will be. Hope so I will pass safely as the 1st level papers. Nobody says this course is easy, but it's not that tough as other people said too. Choosing different path from others is tough and suffer. But what I can get at the end of the day is worth it. Nobody said it would be easy to continue on the path, They just promised it would be worth it. Because it's really worth it. At least... I've got this chance to prove to myself that I can survive and pass all papers on this bloody-hell course! Although sometimes I had a feeling wanna give up! But at the next second moment that feelings already gone away from my mind.Life is really either a daring adventures or nothing. I do not hope that my life is just nothing. Facing some adventures, challenge in life is good and better to improve ourselves. Chances and opportunities is a kind of gifts from god to give to those person whos treasure and work hard. No one can sit down and wait the opportunities to come over your side.. This worlds, only have 2 types of people in my eyes of view. That is either a hard-working people or a damn lazy person. There is no such things that stupid and intelligent people in this world for us to differentiated it.On the other side... Natalie, when is our next gathering date ha? I really miss u all so much! When decided already remember let Meng Wei know about it also. That day on msn he's asking whether when is our gathering because we've been long long time didn't meet already! Ask upon Penny, Siew Mun, Cloey, Meng Wei, Kai Leng, Li Shan, me, u... and see who some more :p Is that okay? I need a breath and rest on my studies also as u all need it as well on yours work! All of us need some relax :) So that we can chit chat about recently updated news around us, u know ;p Best Regards,chin.eveLyn--------------

总是冲向家人

很多时候，通常我们都会对身边最亲的人发脾气。好比说，妈妈，爸爸，兄弟姐妹，甚至阿姨舅舅…但，绝大部分都不会对周遭的朋友们发脾气。所以自身总有一种想法认为，和朋友比较谈得来。其实对我而言，我们会对家人发脾气是因为我们都了解到就算对他们发脾气之后就会不了了之他们也会原谅也不会怎么样。而我们总认为如果向朋友发脾气，搞不好会令朋友生气，讨厌或失去这位朋友等等什么的！或许是因为家人的关系太密切了，我们总忽略了互相尊重互相忍让迁而总是冲向他们发脾气。心里总是想到，家人嘛向他们发脾气没事的反正不会失去彼此的关系。关系太密切会令一个人忘记最原始的原理最原始的礼貌（对不起，谢谢…）。‘对不起’和‘谢谢’其实不是那么难以开口的话语！但我们总是嫌这两个词太普通而懒得说。越亲的人就越懒惰说出口越难以开口越不好意思说。这也许是人的一份执着吧！做人不需要太拘谨；也不能太懒惰。有机会就和家人多说几句话，免得以后失去这机会以后才后悔！家人和朋友没什么他的差距与分别（除了字眼不同），大家都需要互相了解体谅，不该因为熟悉而懒惰。现代社会的人们（包括我）都只顾着自己忙碌的生活，变得自私而忽略了身边的人。

回来了

想一想，你走了很多年了吧！我知道你最近回来了…只是没联络上我而已！大概了解到我正为考试作最后的准备。你真的比任何人都了解我！就算每一次我面临考试期间没时间理会你，没时间联络你；就算你很清楚我总是把我的学业放在第一位；甚至连你这么久才回来Malaysia一趟我没法抽空陪你…遥远的你都没有埋怨过一句。在他人眼里，总会被人说：‘你身边有一个人那么的体谅你，真好！’。这是别人眼中所看得见的。可是说实在的，我们到底是太习惯对方的互不干扰存在；还是和从前一样呢？这问题，你知道答案吗？其实在较早之前我们都分析过这问题；可惜的是，你也和我一样，寻找不到足以令我们自己安慰的答案！你应该还有印象吧，这之前我们不是说好做回朋友的吗！前一阵子你却说‘忘了不该记得的……忘了那个伤疤……’。但之后看来，我们又恢复之前的所在位置了！你这次从UK回来，我没记错的话应该是因为--你和那间模特儿公司的合约期满了，所以回来这里逗留1个月…这次的你还是一样…谢谢你的体谅！这次的考试对我来说真的很重要，所以没办法…！你大概会说我每一次都说‘这次的考试很重要’，一点新意都没有！为什么我们总是没什么话要对对方说？为什么总是我对你冷漠，你对我冷淡？干嘛我们俩总喜欢这样对待对方？爱情到底怎么样的一个东西，得到之前，憧憬，期待，渴望；拥有之后，心痛，心碎，心恢……从来没有想过‘分手’是怎么样的感觉，一开始我们就认定了对方，虽然不知道我们面对遥远的距离（UK-M'sia)是否会不了了之（就算是这么多年了，我们双方都仍然担心这个存在的问题）。然而，我们的感情恐怕有那么经不起考验的一天（Who's Know），相处的时间太少，产生的磨擦更是少得可以，大家开始厌烦，开始不在乎（总觉得没必要，因为太远了），尽管看见你的伤感（都觉得我的学业比较重要）却狠下心埋头准备考试；你很体谅我的这一点难处是因为你和我一样；就好像对你来说，你的模特儿工作就是你的全部。大家都有约定，只要还没有第3者的出现，我们就维持我们这么多年来的关系；若任何一方找到个更适合的人时，只要说一声就行了。双方的关系就会停止，且做会朋友…以我们对双方的了解，很清楚的知道不会出现任何尴尬，所以才会这么约定的！慢慢的，渐渐的，我们直到现在就算在乎也只会放在心里。正因如此，我们也都比起从前更加坚强，独立。其实当初你说要到UK，我是比任何人更赞成的人！你不是每次都讲我总是说‘前途比任何事更重要’。重点是，只要我们不变得‘陌生’就可以了！我也希望你的模特儿职业，进入一个更美好的阶段。就如你祝我每一次的考试都那么的顺利！今年也和往年一样，清明我有去拜我爸爸,你应该也有去拜你妈妈吧~~再过些日子我会找你的，别担心我。；如你所说，不会让我担心你更不希望我为你担心，那我也一样不是那种笨到要你担心的女生。可以放心，也不用操心！有时间就多多休息。长途电话费很重，真的很空闲又……时才致电给我吧。返回UK前记得通知我，好让我可以送你机；反正回来时我没去到接你！

曾经的回忆与记忆

算一算，离开了那个地方都大概有2年之多！虽然，不可以像以前那样有事没事就找你们出来是我的遗憾：）不过在这里，新的环境，新的生活真的过的很好，也很充实。或许真的太久没有回去了吧...那个地方让我有一种容纳不了我的感觉！之前，一直都以为是自己想多了吧！直到那天... ...那天，是我一个朋友--N的生日！前一个星期，她就已经摆脱我以前同班的一个好朋友联络上我，希望我能够出席她的生日会！刚好星期三没有上课，所以就答应了！其实自己也思考了好久‘到底要不要去呢？’。基本上这问题反复问了自己很多次，最后还是选择去！因为太久的一段时间没与她们狂在一起，所以心里认为‘去一趟也无所谓吧，反正太久没见面了。’基本上是没抱什么太大的希望，虽说以前一起的日子很疯狂，除得很好！那天，当她们一一到来时，忽然间...有一种陌生的感觉！也不知道应该和她们谈些什么。本来就不是那么会找话题的我，在那时的当下，忽然觉得自己很多余，仿佛容纳不了她们的谈话内容当中！很明显不是她们病了，或许是我自己‘生病’了吧！忽然间有一种‘这里不属于你’的感觉。所以就致电给我妈妈，跟她说我提早走；而我则跟她们说，因为明天有早课所以要早回，况且住得太远了，回去也需要时间！等待妈妈的当下，我就一个人纳闷的坐着也没多说什么！之后遇上了一位小学朋友--L，就和他交谈起来...我和L字小学毕业后都没什么见面了，这次刚好遇上所以也畅谈了一会儿！在之后的party怎么我就不了了之了。因为，22:45左右，我就回了！其中一位朋友对我说‘最近怎样？学业还好吗？’。我说都很好，没什么（苦笑了一下，因为不知道应该给什么反应）。或许她看得出吧，她说道‘是这样的啦，你没话题和我们聊是因为你已经离开这里很久了，有了自己的新生活，生活方式和我们不同而且你念college，有自己的新朋友新生活圈子了，范围和我们不同，只要大家都是过的开开心心的就好了’！我明白她想安慰的...所以就没多出声，只是笑笑！或许她有她的道理。很多时候，过去虽是无从的欢乐，无从想念的；可是途中（或之后）的生活是我们，遗失了发黄的照片，遗失了曾经保存很久的东西，遗失了枯萎的记忆...现在，伸出手也抓不回任何东西。也许，总有些东西会留在生命最深处。深深浅浅的痕迹，当心轻轻拂过一不会感到什么感觉，只有一份麻木！无法交谈并不是谁的错，只要大家都过得好，过得开心就可以了。以前的欢笑，吵闹，喜怒哀乐，深深地把它当成一种美好的回忆埋藏在心底，时不时拿来回味也是一种快乐！记忆可以想成是一种整理档案的工作，而所谓的学习与体验应该就是这个整理的过程。人无时无刻不在进行学习与体验和记忆的过程，除非人已死亡。记忆只要在脑中，别人就无法夺走，但却也表示别人无法使自己的记忆消失。一个人必定和那些自己所记住的资料共处至死亡。“回忆”--就像是电脑硬碟在做重组，在做检查的工作，检查是不是有坏轨，把过去的储存的资料再次解读，重新储存，这样才不会使大脑浪费太多的空间。“记忆”一个人的记忆就象记录自己这个人一生的纪录片，这卷底片可是不能换的，因为人的一生就只有一次。记忆是学习与体验的最基本模式，也是不可或缺的模式，更是很私人，充满隐私，一种孤独的过程。我不知道有多少人有这样的发觉，虽然在某些时空有很多人聚在一起，但一聊起曾共处时空下的事，却像拼图一样，惊觉每个人都记住不同的片段！这就表示即使人在同一个时空，拥有共同的记忆资料，但是经过梅格人的大脑运作下所组成的资讯却不保证一样。因为每个人打闹的运作是孤独的，是独一无二的。反正我们周围的人事物每一天都不停的在变（当你发觉身边的人有所改变的同时，你自己也正在改变）。所以只要记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的；改变能改变的，接受不能改变的！这样才能活得精彩。人只要不失去方向，就不会失去自己！人生最重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。理想总是为有信心的人准备着！

困难之处

很想抹去玻璃窗上那一层灰尘。于是搬张椅子，那起抹布，踩上桌面。那一瞬间，只听到破裂声…桌面上的玻璃垫破了！还未擦玻璃，却已先打破了玻璃…无奈…望着桌上辐射状散开的玻璃……很后悔自己的粗心大意。忽略了周遭事物随时可能发生的状况……或许，人与人之间也不过如此……你曾关心过周围的人物没有？是否曾细心体验别人的感受呢？当你从事某些事情时，是否想过周围可能产生的变化？~~忽然…这些问题一一地浮现在脑海不断地问自己！因为，如果没有，你就很可能会有‘打破玻璃’的情形发生。玻璃碎了可以换块新的；人受到了伤害却无法换新。当两个好朋友同时爱上一个人，该怎么做才能完美的解决这三角习题？者不能用数学的方程式去解决~~不管，这三角习题是两女一男还是两男一女，其实答案都很简单！简单得比方程式更加的简单！爱情只需要两个人来谈，根本不需要多事的第三者介入。只要两个人是两情相悦其实不必理会其他人；除非是自己一厢情愿的纠缠，否则说什么也不该轻易放弃自己的感情。一段感情，如果主角不是你，那你就该放开手让自己自由。三角恋，只要不合格的人退出，就不是难题了！爱是会变的。因为人最善变。人心，最难捉摸也最难预估的！有时候，也许是一件事，一个触发，一个领悟，就可以改变一个人的思想，虽然不至于让一个人彻头彻尾赚了性子，却也可能让一个人的行为与之前有了差异。说不定，就在这么一秒的瞬间，你可能更爱你的恋人；也可能发现到，好像不那么爱了！爱是会变的，然而，可能变好；可能变坏。正因为它会变，人必须学着更成熟的去处理自己心情上的变化。当你尽了最大的努力，却发现爱依然残酷的有了改变…那么也没有什么好遗憾的了！反正别人不爱你，你还可以爱自己：）懂得体认爱的善变，慢慢学着去适应，当它随着时间改变时，你也必须随着时间而有所成长，才能勇敢去面对！爱一个人，是一种能够当下的感觉。这一刻的感觉能不能持续到永久，谁能够很肯定的保证？慎選一份值得堅持的感情！愛~只要一點點衝動就可以；可是了解~卻少些默契都不行。相愛不只是走進對方的生活，更要能走入彼此的生命…兩個人在一起不是為了相互取暖！这个年头，人与人的相遇越来越频密，似乎只要一个‘机缘巧合’，就有可能相恋了。而在之后，才慢慢地发觉了彼此的不适合，渐渐地把爱磨损，到最后不爱了！与其祈祷不要变，不如让自己随它而变。学着去接受改变…那么你才会发现，不管怎么样的改变，你都可以保有完整的自我，不让它的多变深刻的伤了你！

朋友……

最近回去以前那里探望些中学朋友！才发现身边很多人事物都已经改变。算一算，我们一大班朋友们都认识了8年多9年！真的是很长的一段时间，很漫长的岁月！过程中，有欢笑泪水，酸甜苦辣……有时得空回想起来，总是特别回味当然，也会微笑！最近遇见你们，看见大家的变化，真的很吃惊也很开心！：）至少可以肯定的是，大家脸上，都少了当年的稚气；反而多了份成熟感，也比以前看得开！想一想，发脾气？哭？生气？…到底是多久以前的事了？真的很久没有发脾气，生气……长大了才能清楚的了解到，发脾气/生气/哭，都不是逃避或解决问题所在的好方法！你们都说这是一件好事：）虽然如此还得说声对不起！你们以前还那么的容忍我，体谅我！S，K，C，真的很久没一起疯狂的大聊特聊了！新年和你们出去，你们都说我的变化很大！虽然如此，但你们可不要乱乱猜测我的私生活哦！真的没有你们想象的那么乱那么复杂！再猜测下去，你们可以拿“最佳编剧奖”了唷！知道你们的另一半对你们很好，我也替你们开心。记得要快乐！不过，你们可也要记住，我的思想开放没戒条什么事什么人都可以聊天说笑；并不代表我生性放浪，私生活混乱一塌糊涂哦！只是，对我来说朋友嘛，就应该无所不谈和朋友一起相处也不必避忌任何事情和话题啊！我只是在做回我自己而已！而且对我而言，要我投入感情有一定的难度也很难去喜欢/爱上一个人。大概是后遗症和信心的关系吧！J，那天去找你！打扰了你一整天，还被你妈妈留下来吃晚饭，真的很不好意思！你妈妈没什么变化^^除了，进你家门之前的那一刹那，被你妈妈吓到。因为你妈妈冲口而出问“你是谁？”。让我忽然愣了一下，思考到底有没有按错门铃去错屋子！之后不到5分钟，你妈妈就说得出我名字了！看来，这证明了我真的好久好久没去你那儿了……应该是自我搬家后吧！嗯…3年了！原来我开那地方这么久了。没想到你第一个话题居然是“哇，你怎么长高那么多了？到底吃什么？”…起初他们说我高了很多我都没发觉，在你房间看到以前一起照的照片时才确定，自己真的高了很多！差点忘了我们俩以前是差不多一样高度的！哎呀，你竟然也会问我到底拍过多少次拖！？应该是印象中我们真的没有好好的坐下来聊我们的生活吧~~你到底以为我拍过多少次拖啊？？忘了告诉你哦，我没你想象中那么多人追，因为没有你那么有市场竞争。（开玩笑）！要求太高而且弱点多过优点的我，不可能有人要的^^因为，不是每个人都能顶得顺我的自我要求和性格！所以我的私生活你大可以放一万个心^^你的生活也过得多姿多彩啊！也有‘狂风浪蝶’，很不错啊！哈哈。。。但是，记得赶快找份新的工作哦！不然，一直熬在家里很快就变成“懒虫”哦！很想问cp，以前的我真的一脸悲哀吗？哈哈！因为今天去找你时，居然说我比从前开朗了很多，像另外一个人似的！说的好像我以前很奇怪！其实只是不太爱说话，比较沉默！这你应该知道。 ：）糟糕！怎么连你也问起我的感情生活？那么有趣吗？哈哈！可笑的是，你也和J的反应一样，没有相信我！谢谢你请客，令我很不好意思！下次你来我这，我一定请你吃大餐！你的生活也很充实吧……因为，你都忙于工作！小心成了工作狂哦！真的你们一直那么关心我！我不会再令你们为我操心，为我担心了。因为，我已经不是以前那个我；我真的长大了；就如你们所说，我变了！当你发觉身边的人事物一切都在变化中，那就证明你自己也在改变当中！要常常保持联系！

时间...人生...

很多时候,有些事情不是一朝一夕就可以解释得明白透彻;通常都需要时间去证明!就算谁说得好听,说得再漂亮都没有用...那结果,仍然需要时间证明!因为只有时间不会说谎!时间越久就越看得清事实的真相...然而,我希望你明白,当初我放低你并不是一朝一夕的事!所以,请你别回头再找我!如果是以朋友身份的话,我没关系;但如果是以另一个目的,就请别浪费大家宝贵的时间.你可以说我冷漠,或是怪我刻薄.因为,在你眼中的我是怎样的一个人,对我来说已经不重要了!放手了的东西,就等于掉了遗失了.别忘了,遗失也可以是美好的.至少我是这么认为!所以,无需再作无谓的争执!过了就让它过去.我也不需要你的补偿.很多事情,过去了就过去了!而且,现在的我生活得很好..."我不需要任何人为我安排我以后的人生需要如何过...我不希望一辈子跟着别人的剧本走!我也有自己想要过的人生...有我自己想走的路.."这句话,从你那儿学来的.或许你忘了吧!不过,当初你是这么说的!而我也一样,不需要任何人为我安排我以后的人生需要如何过...我不希望一辈子跟着别人的剧本走,更不喜欢被人断定自己的前途!我也有自己想要过的人生...有我自己想走的路..只需要再挨多两年半的时间,就能证明我自己的前途,有我自己的路!我相信,在这两年半里,我一定能成功,也不会让自己有任何机会去失败!我的人生,我的命运,应当由我自己去决定,由我自己亲手去创造!你不是今天才认识我!算一算,我们都认识了很多年..从你认识我那天开始,就知道我喜欢玩,喜欢新鲜,喜欢享受,更盼望且期待自己的梦想,自己的人生和以后的人生旅途..你也应该了解到,我是不容许任何人阻止我要走的路,也不容许自己出任何差错,做任何事都很小心翼翼..我相信你也知道当中的原由!当然,我知道这会是一条很艰难辛苦的路;但吃得苦上苦,方为人上人!况且,我真的不想毁掉这么多年的友谊;就算当中一些日子比友谊更深,我也不想毁掉我们之间的那份默契,信任和友情!因为,真的很难的!如果真的承受不住,那么就暂时保持安全距离!别忘了,为你自己的梦想努力,不要轻易放弃自己一直以来所坚持的!

第二次错误

人类，是微笑和眼泪之间的“钟摆”！无论是亲人，情人，朋友，都是互动调适的过程。没有理所当然的幸福圆满，只有在尊重关切的心意下，时时去倾听对方的需要，将对方的成长和自我的成长看得一样重要才能在变迁旋转的社会中，创造一份富生机的关系。原来很多时候，当一段感情已接尾声，不想再拖，要拒绝或结束它时...心里，必定有挣扎吧！“我究竟应不应该离开他/她？”。其实这个问题的答案很简单！就是先要清楚明白的分析了解下“你究竟需不需要他/她？”。有了自己的答案，那么你的问题，心里的挣扎...就已解决了一大半！现实生活中，一个错误可以在第二次的尝试中确定它的存在，并且着手去修正。生活里的体验，常是凭着自己的心向去面对眼前的失误，心智便是这样的成长过程。。于是，我们会知道怎样才能变得更好。而感情，亦只是人生的一部分！有些人把这部分看得很大，所以总是被感情牵着鼻子走而忽略了自己的梦与想，忽略了自己的未来！很多事情，我们不必以单方面来看它。不妨多转几个角度想想光明积极的一面，可能就会有转机了！才发现，幸福只是部分的；部分的人幸福了，必然导致部分的人痛苦了。就如上帝关掉你的一扇门；必将为你开启另一扇门。所有的一切都得靠你自己去克服，别人只能从中指导，给于意见；最重要的伤口愈合与吸取教训，则是你独立完成的。它给你挫折，使你获得学习的机会，然后得到免疫力！其实人生永远没有一个真正的结局，所有的一切都只是一个开始的准备。今天的这个结果，是另一个新开始...生命是个有无数渡口的航道，成功失败亦只是个过度而已。

沉默

到底...什么时候开始！？！？已变得沉默，什么都不坚持；也不想多做解释。有时候，越解释就越方寸大乱！所以，总是选择沉默！至少，这么做能对自己诚实。总比搬出一大堆借口好得多！时日远去也需要负荷，无从弥补缺陷。借口听得多听得久，会麻木也令人盲目且失散！我，一直都在寻找平衡点！开心与感叹总会有吧...就因为需要平衡。平衡--是很困难，但我会很努力的继续寻找。总有一天会找得到我想要的，且属于我的平衡点！最可怕的不是停歇不前，而是确认自己的心...已完全变的冷漠！最重要的是，不失去理智也不能迷失自己！冷静地思考一番！

复杂

很多时候，大部分的事情都不是那么的复杂！复杂的，是人类的思绪！没错吧！？大概，现代生活让人类把所有的事物都变得复杂吧！每个问题，都有答案；每个答案，都有个问题存在！不是吗！？有些事情，可以很简单就解决掉；有些问题，本来就很容易寻找到答案！拖拖拉拉，捉摸不定的，是我们人类的心吧！我。。。不喜欢被猜透，也不希望被看透！一切问题，都在于我自己吧！有时候做人不需要过分认真。过分认真，自己和身边的人都会感到压逼感！过分的冷静，镇定。。。都会让身边的朋友觉得自己是个孤独寂寞的人吧！那天，LCCI聚会当中，还未齐人时。。。就那么个朋友说我是个孤独寂寞的人，说的好听点就是有性格；难听点就是固执且要求高，虽然我每天都以笑迎人，有说有笑！当她这么说的当下，我没回应她！或许连自己都认为她说得对吧！或许，她还未经历过我已经历得吧！我承认！我这份人，对自己对任何事，身边的人都过分的要求高！但不是务必要他们达到我眼中所谓的要求；只是我个人认为，每个人都应该有一定的要求。或许我的要求过分高！但，没有要求，就没有进步；没有进步，人生就只会停留！不是吗！？而我，不希望我的人生只会停留而不会向前迈进！至少，我清楚的知道自己有充分的理由！

不想想太多

新的一年已过了7天！除了忙于我的学业，还是学业！反正就是不想让自己有空闲的时间去想，去猜测，去衡量，那件事的真实性！虽然如此，我仍然求问好朋友们的意见！然而，我想听的．．．到底是他人的意见，还是只为了寻找一个认同我意见，和我意见相同的人？这问题，我自己也想不出答案！或许他们都很对，使我自己太犹豫，太喜欢往坏处想！到底，人都是矛盾的！新一年，我的健康状况似乎有逐渐变差的情况出现！最近都有呕吐症状！尤其是吃了如饭等能饱肚的食物后！但自己又认为没什么严重，所以没去看医生！去看医生很烦人，也很麻烦...况且只是少许的呕吐症状而已！想想.....有多就没去逛街了？基本上，时间几乎都专注在学业上！是我把学业看得太重了！有时候反而会成为沉重的包袱和负担！大概，是我把自己逼得太紧了吧！现代社会，没有学历是很辛苦很难生存的！更何况我是那么的不想逗在Malaysia！国外生活，大概比较适合我！在这样下去，会成疯子吧！情况看来，偶尔也应该适当的休息下吧！

信任与背叛

人，是最难且最不可信任的动物！不是吗！？总是难以相信身边周照的人。这是我的错吗！？人与人之间的承诺，真的值得去相信吗？那又为什么，相信后得到的结果，终究离不开‘背叛’和‘受伤’！所以，我还是选择不信任任何人；我只知道信任自己！总觉得好累，好累，好累！真不希望被当成傻瓜般，任人背叛，任人欺骗！至于甜言蜜语对我来说，总是听不进耳！大概是因为，太虚为也太无聊了吧！所谓的‘甜言蜜语’，‘承诺’，不都是些难以实现的话语嘛！就是因为难以实现，有些更是不可能实现，所以说的人过瘾；听的人开心！渐渐的，大家都沉迷于甜言蜜语与承诺之中！大概大家都没认真的想想，那些‘甜言蜜语’，‘承诺’--真的能够兑现实现吗！？还是说，大部分的人类渐渐的开始喜欢‘开空头支票’！反正是‘空’的！况且，我真的不认为，习惯性的听太多甜言蜜语，承诺，是件好事！习惯性的去听，不也代表着，其实你自己是个喜欢活在虚拟世界的人嘛！甜言蜜语与承诺--听得太多会让人失去理智，失去判断能力！认真地想想吧！就算是最亲的人，并不代表她/他不会背叛你！要令一个对任何人事物都不信任的人，去相信某些事实千真万确的!大概有一定的难度吧！做任何事，都应该认真处理！别总是把其他人当成傻瓜般，任由其被你欺骗，被你伤害！也不应该轻易的相信他人的话语言词！人是世界上最优秀的动物，也是世界上最精心狡猾的动物！活在这个世界上，总会碰到许许多多的考验！只要跨得过，就属于自己的！