失乐园中的灵魂

我只是暂时在疑惑中...当眼前的迷雾散开后，就能看见前方！！我相信我知道怎样的决定，才是对自己最好的结果！毒药也是药。只要适量使用，它就是能治百病的良药！时间本身是无限的，但人生的时间是有限的。好好掌握它，利用它，就能得到更好，更精彩的人生。
伤口总有一天会愈合的！就像我手上的伤...结果还不是好了吗？时间不是良药吗？当然要加点外敷的药啦！只是精神尚未完全的痊愈也未完全克服这行为，所以割伤自己去的冲动久不久会回来...相比起以前每一天这么做，总算进步了！痛苦，对他人来说不一定也是种痛苦；换个角度，它可以是一种解脱也可以是一个经验。了解它，克服它，战胜它~~以这些经验做成推动力，面对以后可能面对的困难。
现在的心就像断了线的风筝，飘浮在空中。但别慌张，有种自然现象叫做“地心引力”。它最终还是会落地的，然后把它捡起来，找回自己咯！也许，它会落到树上，屋顶上；那就勇敢些，积极些，坚强些，努力地往上爬咯！又或者会有双手，帮我捡呢！人生... ...希望嘛！
如果你在人群中觉得我陌生...别惊讶别讶异，那不是真正的我；我还是从前的我。我会找回自己的！！！

快

这个年头，
什么都 “快”：
快熟面 快餐厅
快拨键 快科技
快快快
结果...我
也因考试...
快快乐乐 的 快疯了 :|

窗外

因考试的关系，最近一大清早爬起。搭上早班的巴士，乘上早班的火车到学院温习...
犹如往常...今早在火车上像往常般拿着该温习的部分温习。唯一不同就是，今天眼望窗外。大概因昨晚整夜没睡休息不足所以，一两页后就没再继续读下去了！望着窗外那段轨道途中经过的景色，其事跟平时没什么两样。或许是因为心情不一样的缘故，突然的发觉窗外那段景色有种沉静唯美的迷惑感吸引了我！
从不发觉那段每天经过的景色如此平静般的美。由此可证，生活在当今社会（尤其大城市）的人，无论哪个年级辈分都显得多么的忙碌。总马不停蹄的与时间赛跑，总不停的追逐繁荣进步的社会的步伐。不为什么，就只怕落后于人跟不上时代迅速的进步。就连让脑袋与心境休息片刻，沉醉于大自然的时间也都没有。
或许，有时候真的该停下繁忙的步调...用另一种心情体会与欣赏，以另一种心态去感受周围的一切。然后...突然一天就会发现当中的乐趣而生活并不是那么的刻板于沉闷的忙碌。最重要的是，心境也要跟着改变！

Overloads..

Eve is overload overloads.. Stress Pressure Panic Nervous.. Driving me crazy Driving me nuts.. Whats the date now?! Whats the day now?!
Pray hard Die Hard Study Hard Work Hard but never smart =.=!!! Give up no or yes?!
Oh dear beloved daddy! Bless your daughter, EveLyn well in heaven! Wish me best of luck as well! Love you & miss you dad!!

脑袋被猪亲过的人群

原本是没关系也无所谓，不过那些脑袋被猪亲过的人......冲向我。
对于谣言没有作任何回应，是因为我的智商比你们这些造谣者好（不多，就高你们0.3）；并不是因为那些难听的话难堪的谣言没有传到我的耳朵。总觉得我是糊涂大师吧！那只是因为我在选择性地听，选择性的回应！我的未来，轮不到你们帮我编写。那是我的人生，我的生活！
我很高傲与你何干！要破坏我吗？下个世纪...也很难得逞！看来你们选错系，应该选另一条更适合的路，就去当编剧做导演吧！别在我面前假惺惺！我不需要那些脑袋被猪亲过的人去接受我！
天啊，最近脑袋被猪亲过的人怎么正在大幅度增加？！

背后的责任

很多时候，只是不想去承认
也    不想去理会！

最近... 在
思考着，
我活着背后的   “责任”
到底    是   什么？   为何？

徘徊于  
绝望  与  期盼  之间...

是时候
整理    凌乱的思绪！
只想要，
自己一个人   安静地...

静悄悄地...
藏起来   躲起来
去一个  找不到 
听不见  也  看不见   的地方 
清静一下    想得透彻

活着背后的   “责任”
到底    是   什么？
而我   活着
又   为了什么？

The Intractable One

You and me knew less than 3 weeks and just watched a movie one and only one time. You might sms to anyone you wants for every few minutes, but please not to me. Small sesame green bean things not even a need to report to me. Whether when you went to pay your electricity bill how much is it, how many cups of coffee you took per day, how many times you shower a day, how you allocate your time. Who cares!! At least I'm not the one who wanna care about all those things.

I'm absolutely not interested at all. That's really irritating and annoying. Don't try to step into my life and my lifestyle when you know you're not allowing to do so. I don't wanna meet with the intractable one!! Don't ever try to challenge my patience. You gotta regret!! 

Chinese Improvements

I've been improving my Chinese here several years. No doubt that, I able to write in out but thats not because I'm good on it.. Translator I have. BUT the most important is that, my dear younger brother--Chin,Andrew help me. And so, he always be the first who read it. Because he's the one who help me to side beside me teaching me and go through check every single word for me before I publish my post. Somehow, I still cannot write those Chinese words manually. Besides, my pronunciations was really oh my god. Becomes jokes around my friends. :P
Improvement needed and time is needed. Perhaps, I need Shirley oh Shirley (= 

标准评估

每個人看待事物,都不可能站在絕對客觀公正的立場上,而是或多或少地戴上有色眼鏡,用自己的經驗、好惡和道德標準來進行評判,結果就是——我們看到了假像!
我是因为“关系”还是自己的能力而得到工作。说到底，不论是前者或后者都是我个人的本事。轮不到你们说三道四！
这个年头，各式各样的人都存在着。我喜欢从尾部挤牙膏，有些人喜欢从中间挤牙膏。每个人的生活模式都不同。在我不干扰你的情况下，请别对我的观念说长道短。别以为认识我就想等于了解我。
我并不是为了让所有人都认同我，让所有人都觉得我好所以才生存在这个社会之中！就好比再好的大好人，也会有绝小部分的人不喜欢。我不需要他人来评估我的人格如何。换句话说，他人也不必在我面前口说好话刻意讨好，这只会让我觉得恶心反胃。

B*TCH Vs H**

There's a point in life when you get TIRED of chasing everyone and 
TRYING to fix everything BUT its not giving up... It's realizing that you don't need certain people. First, The BullSh*t and secondly The Drama they bring!
The TRUTH is... everyone is going to HURT you. You just have to decide... whos WORTH the pain.
Those who saying me, 
Yup, I'm a B*tch; a CLASSY one
AND
Yeah, You're a H**; the most BUSYBODY one..
Mind Your Own Business Please.. Insulting me, Lets take a little walk. During that walk I'll give you a hint --> "YOU'RE GOING TO NEED AN AMBULANCE"

答案

相信吗！凡是得不到的东西（人事物），都总是最美好最认为是完美的...也是最让人遐想得到后，要如何如何的去珍惜。因此，总忽略在身边在眼前的；还觉得眼前此时此刻所拥有的，有许许多多的不足与缺陷...
所以说，人...这种生物--总是贪婪得无可救药。最后，遗失了才发现在其中的美好但，已成了回忆抱了遗憾...让未来到来，让过去过去，做到谈何容易；有一天老去，有一天离去，遗憾还是在心底。
盲目的追求自认为最珍贵的，其实就在身边就在眼前。就因为太久了...时间久了，开始麻木，所以盲目了，也因此而遗忘了当初那“最初”的感觉，很讽刺吧！那，是最重要的感觉，因为是那霎那的感觉那瞬间的感触让你们能够走在一起。人，就是这么的无知！不论多年长的人，老或少，男或女，哪一个世纪，哪一个时代。这种“无知”都存在着...
为什么总是盼望着期盼着？当清楚的了解到不可能，为何还要勉强？！为何还要互不相让？！为何非得要两败俱伤？！成为朋友的那一刻，自己何不是已很清楚的了解到自己对这朋友有的到底是什么样的感觉。对于这朋友在你心里的位置也一清二楚。
当然，人...也有迷惘的时候。这时候，会产生错觉，误将这朋友在你心里的位置转换了！绕了一大圈后...才清楚知道，原来依然只是朋友；但，这并不表示自己白走了一趟。人生的旅程，旅途上有许多的悲欢离合，爱情的得与失只是其中的一小部分（占不了30%）。每一次的起程都会遇上了谁，也遗弃了谁...最重要的是，吸取教训与经验。
迷惘，是正常的。当有所迷惘，要回顾过去，自己如何的一路走来，别觉得艰难就当成是一种磨炼；但，切忌前脚踏下后脚要放，牵着过去所得到的未来，只会增加不满足与埋怨，千万不要被过去牵着你要的未来来生活！你得不到的，或会是他人应该得到的；执着的人生，会让自己承担无需有的重担！
人生，不能从来。所以，要避免彼此伤害。无论在什么情况下，拥有多么丰厚的理由，伤害他人就等于开启伤害之门让他人伤害自己。残忍的人，选择伤害别人；善良的人，选择伤害自己。若承受不了，就先让自己保持距离！
结局就是答案。人生很多事情没有答案！好的故事是会让人留在心里想很久很久。有没有答案都一样，这就是人生！有一些是我们无可选择，也有一些是我们自己可以掌控的。故事跟人生一样，都需要时间练习。时间，是给与所有的解决；也是个魔鬼，让徘徊的心痛苦着；但，时间，从来都不是问题的症结。天堂与地狱，就那么的一念之间！
每个人对这个世界的了解，都只是一部分而已。答案是自己找出来的，不是他人给的；就算找到的答案不是最优的，有一天自己会慢慢调整，那时自己的东西。
放弃，就注定失败！

避风港

真的...累了！
总    徘徊在这些事件里头... 
快    要疯了...
但    仍然   要踏出那道门
依然   要过日子   要面对人
所以   不能把悲伤   挂在脸上
所以   需要强逼自己 
继续的   忍耐着   
就这样   继续的   坚强的   撑着...
无论   是什么理由   还是要   撑着！

其实...
我   也是个   平凡的人   平凡的女生
我   并没有   你们想象中   那么的   坚强
我   只是   一直以来   都   把自己的心   武装了起来
我   不可能   一路走来   都   那么的   坚强
我   也有   脆弱   的时候
想   撒娇   想   依赖   的时候

并不是   因为
想逃避问题
也不是   因为
想逃离现实
只是...
人生   不能从来.. 
所以   要避免彼此伤害
无论   在什么情况下
无论   有多么丰厚的理由
伤害他人   就等于开启伤害之门
让他人伤害你...
更   不希望  
情绪   被影响
情绪   受波动

此时此刻   的我...
很想有一个   能   躲藏的避风港
需要一个   能   让我   静下心   定下神
能够   安慰我的   值得依靠的    避风港！
真的   需要一个   能躲藏的   避风港...
可以   避免看见   伤害人...

谁能明白我的明白

寂寞，上门了..
           心，疲惫了..
           心里的那道门，
       依旧紧闭着..
并非是谁的错..
    也从不责怪其他人..

误会...
        犹如     纠缠的结...
解不清     也     说不了；
    解不开     一团乱！

解释... 
    累了     也     倦了！
反正...
        看不清  想不透,
越抹     越模糊..
不想成为     染色体...
    污染了     友情     也
污染了     自己的回忆...
     还不至于
          希望成为别人
痛苦的回忆与记忆...

记忆... 
...是很沉重的
就算...
...解脱心结后
这种心酸的记忆
也     未必会被遗忘掉...

不被明了    又能如何！
  朋友     我
     并没有     失望
你...
不明白     不了解
        没关系     无所谓
并不是     谁的过错
      也不是     不够了解
只是     我     从未想过    要被了解！
    只希望     没有误会...

若只是朋友，
         就别说得那么好听
     如何如何的了解我...
我的过去...     你不清楚   不能理解
我的将来...     你不明白   不能掌握
别          太靠近太阳     最后     
受伤的     受罪的     难堪的     难过的
只会是     你自己！

高傲，又如何！
    傲慢，又怎样！
        难以捉摸    猜不透     摸不着
    是我的     本性
这     就是     我...     原来的我！
                至少...     我不伪装自己！
不懂得去     成全     他人     但
也     不会让别人
     承受痛苦...
并不表示     我很伟大
    也不代表     我很大方
只是     我有    
         属于自己的
“原则”     与     “游戏规则”

到底............
又有谁能明白我的明白！？

Theory of Chin EveLyn

Theory of Chin EveLyn 

Let Chin EveLyn to Begin,
Bring Chin EveLyn to Life;
Sharing the Chin EveLyn of your Life, 
Its a Chin EveLyn Adventure!! 

The Joy of Chin EveLyn,
New Thinking, New Chin EveLyn;
The Chin EveLyn Effect,
Never Knowingly Chin EveLyn~~

Bridge that Gap with Chin EveLyn,
A Different kind of Company,
A Different kinf of Chin EveLyn,
This is the Chin EveLyn you can see!!!

活着的权利

又一个很不错的早晨！

天气--阴霾。

什么天--休息天。

又一次的,

袭击庭院里那些美丽芬芳的花草。

静静的慢慢的不慌也不忙的...

观看有否发现到新鲜盛放的花朵。

不喜欢，

花店里的花朵却对庭院和路边野花感兴趣！

犹如，

人在追求自己所向往的自由般。

喜欢，

捕捉它们盛放那瞬间的灿烂与辉煌！它们都勇敢的生存着。

犹如，

努力奋斗的人们。

就算，

历经沧桑  也...  不顾一切，

勇于向前期待的等到花期盛开的那一天。

不为什么，就只为了生存！

庭院外的花再次的盛开了。

向太阳... 微笑了 (= 也谢谢了！

经历了风雨的花儿开得特别甜美！

因为... 

花儿感激也感谢所有的一切

并且珍惜现在所拥有，也回顾过去如何成长。

但...  有谁会记得它在狂风暴雨天

努力挣扎求生等待着盛放的那段艰辛又漫长的过程，

又有谁在那段茫然的季节走向前慰问它...

它...无法笑着原谅却仍能平静接受。

可悲的是，

连花儿都能明白的道理

为什么人这种充满思考能力的动物就难以理解呢...

活着，

是一种当然的权利；

我们...

可能不满意的活着

但...  死亡，

却永远不能填补这种“不满意”！

当忧郁遇上微笑的彩虹

朋友们都说我开朗了笑容也比从前多忧郁减少了，是因为看开了视野开阔了吧！若你问我真正的原因，我毫无头绪...
真的是因为看开了吗？还是说表面功夫进步了连装作没事的功夫也飞逝跃进了？或许，更好的解释是因为...自开始工作已有一个月多，相比起从前，生活变得忙碌了。因而没有以前那么多的空闲时间给我去思考问题；所以大部分需要思考的问题都被我搁置一旁没有被处理。这变化是好是坏，我不懂！或许在我内心深处，其实存在着答案！
不过，朋友的角度来看...这变化对于我绝对是一件很不错的事，至少你们是这么认为的！但这并不表示我从前的生活方式一团糟。只是相比起来我比其他人更容易思考，顾虑的更多！他们说，我犹如一颗计时炸弹般不知道何时会爆炸。劝的劝，开导的开导但...都失败了！谁的错？是我，是我的错。原谅我的固执，原谅我没有把心里那道紧闭的门开启也请原谅我总是巩起一道道透明的围墙。
淡一点的疤还是疤更别说深刻的烙印。我不会说我曾经怎么怎么...因为‘曾经’这个词犹如恶魔的魔咒。仿佛在对人说‘曾经有的，将来不会有’。我只需要那份‘教训’和所经历的‘经验’就足够了。所以说，就算原谅了并不代表忘记了；放下了也并不表示遗忘了。没有忘记也没有遗忘却并不相等于心胸狭窄，而是吸取了教训也经历了成长！
朋友，你们总是慢慢的等待我自己说而我总是什么都不说。我，很感谢你们的了解更感激你们那颗宽容的心。别总觉得我难以捉摸令你们摸不着想不透！不必总觉得不够了解我，你们最大的了解就是对我的那颗‘宽容开阔的心’就是我的彩虹。 （=

寻找失乐园中那熟悉又陌生的我

最近我的心。。。走失了。另一种说法应该是。。。迷失了！可不敢让那脆弱的心灵迷失太久，那是很危险的行为。所以，正在寻找失去方向那迷路于浓雾中的那颗我的心！！

“失踪”。并不是因为不喜欢与你们闹在一起。只是相比起来，比较喜欢宁静。现今社会，人事物都无比的复杂。无论是我们将事物复杂去还是原本就很复杂，都是那么的凌乱。在这紧张的大城市中成长生活了20年，很多情感与感觉都变得麻木了。因此很多时候，宁可自己一个人独自的好好思考一番把凌乱的思绪好好的整理整理，防止被情绪和紧张牵着自己的鼻子走因而被情绪霸占了自己的理智和理性；我只是在宁静的空间里找寻自己的理智。想说的是，清静并没有你们想象中那么糟！（=

“冷漠”。只是一种自我保护的程序。它无时无刻都存在于我的潜意识里！朋友们说‘未认识你之前，你很冷漠；认识你之后，你仍然冷漠！’。不是我总不让他人进入我的世界也不是我总不让别人了解，只是很多时候都认为没有这个必要！没错，这就是我的本性。它属于我人格的其中一部分。可是，这并不表示我对身边的事漠不关心！只是相比起来我个人比其他人需要更大更多自己的空间。至于我的空间里的内容是什么，不用太过用心的去挖掘。每一个人都是与众不同的。 （=

“忙”。绝不是我习惯性所用的借口！当我说‘我忙’，那是真的了。你们很自觉性的认为我应该没有什么可以忙，因为我大部分所谓‘忙’的时间都总是用于读书了。那是因为我吸收得比别人慢，学到得也比别人慢。所以说，时间是我唯一可以加以运用以勤补撮的方法。当然也忙于和家人共度的时光。要说的是，忙并不是借口而是众多的代名词之一。（=

朋友，若有一天你们觉得我很陌生。别惊讶，我还是原来的那个我。

Once upon time...

Once upon a time, we do says that 
"Life ends, when you stop dreaming;
Hope ends, when you stop believing;
Love ends, when you stop caring;
Relationship ends, when you stop sharing!"
Somehow... As time passes, the world is changing constantly, and we are changing too... We seems ever forget to sharing, caring, dreaming and even believing! 
To believe, peoples says that there's 'Lie' in between the word of believe. To sharing, peoples not so into sharing happiness and sadness. To caring, peoples always using the excuses of being too busy on work and life and there's no extra even few minutes to caring just by a warm message or a phone call. To dreaming, when peoples gets elder and elder, yet to become fear of dreaming and even fear of letting others to know what they dream about as they might feel what the dream for is childish or not so into their age. Majority feels so, even myself.
Gardens are not made by singing "Oh, How beautiful" and sitting in the shade. Imagination is the beginning of creation. Creation of misunderstanding, misappropriations, misleading and etc. ie, i guess she/he understand how busy I am until I didn't catch up with her/him, i think my family know i caring them need not to say it out or do anything. Everything seems become common that actually wasn't that common without telling, expressing but just keep it in the heart. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. 
In the city being unhappy is normal; being crazy is considered crazy. It's easy to get caught up in our busy world and forget the things that are important.  Therefore, we should remember what brought us together at the beginning. Isn't what happens to us that is important, it is what we do about it that makes the difference.

期盼，盼望

我希望有个真心听我说话的人，不仅是了解而已，且是可以接纳开放；

我希望有个人可以接纳真正的我，不仅不要判断我，而且也不急切地想改变我；

我希望有个不会老是责备我的人与我同行，即使当我有真实的过失；

我希望有个人可以让我自己承认错处，我并不像自己所说的那样好；

我希望有个人可以让我诚实的分享内心中的害怕，可以给我亲切的了解；

我希望有个人能够倾听我内心的困顿与挫折，而不是假定失败都是我造成的过失；

我希望有个人可以让我诉说脆弱心灵中的痛苦与烦恼，可以让我去依靠；

我希望有个人可以用关怀和感觉去感觉我的人；

我希望有个可以在他面前哭泣，而不用觉得困窘与羞愧的人；

我希望有个可以去分享爱的人；

这样看来，我到底是需要一个朋友，情人，或者一个心理治疗师？？？

All FLY ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ To "Holland"

I knew my problem.. Phobia and panic when saw the exam hall.. Besides, over stress and pressure.. What the heck am I doing all these months and days.. Give up or not to? Doubting myself..

Really aint no comment on myself.. 'No eyes see' 

Cant imagine how stupid I am.. Everybody was even thought that I can go through.. somehow, I disappointed them and even myself.. What can I say? There's nothing I can say.. What a sucks on me.. 

Terribly shit..

改写她的你

人...总有离去（死）的时候。迟和早的问题罢了。
如果我的离去，能换回当初的那个你；能让伤心流泪的她恢复当初的开心。我...并不介意！总好过现在互相伤害。
第一个错误，可以在第二次的尝试中确定它的存在，并且着手去修正。可悲的是，你却一次又一次的把她从这个谷底再陷入更深的谷底。将她伤害得体无完肤，伤得遍体鳞伤，伤痕累累。为什么非要聚集满满一箩箩的遗憾等到后悔都已经太迟的时候，才懂得珍惜才领悟到当初所做的并不是对的，而抱憾终生。
人生没有第二次亦不能重写...所以即使不可能有完整完美的一次，但至少能把懊悔后悔减少到最低，不是吗？人生没有的重来，只可以在其他人的脑海里重播那一些些那一丝丝的记忆片段。有否思考过，你一手所制造给她的回忆是什么！？不只回忆重要，成为别人的回忆更加难得可贵。
若我的离去能让你改变。我...无所谓也不介意。并不是因为我很伟大。只是想尽自己所能得去改写这一出戏码。至少，结局时的她，你依然是当初的你！

美妙体验

今天早上，家--庭院里的莲花开花了。当然，它并不是第一次开花；只是，那么多次的花开花调这次是最唯美而完整的。

可惜，它的花期很短暂！所以，我就立即将这一霎那，那一瞬间的它的美丽与短暂捕捉下来。

人的生活总是很漫长...然而，生命是如此的短暂！大概，我和其他人一样...总是忙于其他事物，而忽略了生活里不起眼的小小的点缀吧！为什么从来都不觉得家里庭院的花是如此的灿烂如此的美丽？生活太忙碌，步伐一天比一天的快似箭，总觉得没有时间不够时间。没错，我们不能对抗时间。而且，我们偶尔也应该放慢脚步停下步伐细心的观察我们周围所发生且有很不起眼的事！这些小点缀小事物其实都很美妙的。虽然微妙，却可以令我们的身心放松！

生活，其实是一种体验。并不单单只为求活得实在活得充实。充实又实在固然重要，快乐与体验不也相对的那么重要吗！？

犹如在金马伦高原所拍下的着一片蔚蓝的天空的瞬间。使得我心灵平静，安宁。它安慰了我在寂寞的小小心灵里，似乎心中那份寂寞犹如不备了解的心情。

我们偶尔也应该放下重担放下包袱，抬头望望那片一望无际的天空是多么的蔚蓝。仿佛在告诉我们，世界是那么的宽那么的大。所以要适时地放下身段活得快乐一些自在一些轻松一下。

时光飞逝，人生犹如一场戏。我们每个人都是这世界里的配角，没有谁是主角。

生活其实很简单，复杂的是--人类的思绪。好比专家所说，“女人要的不是更多而是很多很多；男人要的不是更高而可以攀得很高很高”。人类都一味的在不断得追求，却从不尝试欣赏和感谢现有的。的不到的，总是最美好的；失去的，总是最可惜的；现有的，却从不珍惜！

很多感觉都是在事后才苏醒，很多感触都是在人走后才发生。这就叫遗憾吧！

人生的美妙之处，在于我们视线所及的每一样事物里。生活中，大家似乎总是努力的捕捉幸福，却不相信垂手可得的快乐。这就好比七路旁的鲜花不顾，而宁愿欣赏人造的花园般荒谬。

幸福的人，似乎随时随地都能发掘幸福，并且懂得享受生活中的小事情。早晨的第一杯茶，洁净的衬衫，暖和的被窝，凉风的气味，初开的花... ...

我们若能悄悄地停下短短几分钟静静地想，便会察觉我们真正体验到的快乐，都是小小的满足串联而成的。就如那两张照片，当思绪凌乱时，再回味这些照片和生活的小事，就可以寻找到迷茫的我的心！

The Moment...

The very precious moment been captured. Perhaps, photos capturing the reality. Natural, Peace, and Balance that I desire for... Maybe I can found it here.. Everything little things will be clear under...The sun shine..The walkway..seems long with a feelings of lonely..Somehow, glad to have a bunch of friends. Oh dear friends that always cheer me up at the right time..Although we didnt meet everyday but just once in a week.. But I'm glad, satisfied and 101% lucky to have all of you..Our path...long way to go..Let's fight together and work it out together for our DREAMS..Good Luck.. and Cheers 

IsabeLLa WoNg Yunn Hwa

I've got a best friend that :-

• has changed me in some kind of ways but makes me feels comfortable without any annoys or nagging on her when she do her very best changing me
• has the same and similar life experiences with me about family
• has the same and similar mind thinking and thoughts on certains extend (ie.Love)
• has saw my tears  cries that normally would not happens in front other people even friends
• has know and understand well my sadness and what I worries about
• has never angry with me when exam is near and I getting weird and seriously, furthermore did not bother sms/calls from anyone anybody including hers.
• taught me how to do on certain matters that she expert with
• taught me 'other people can, why not you'
• taught me to be confidence
• taught me dress well
• taught me makes no regrets on whatever matters
• taught me face the future on not repeat the past that is wrong
• always guide me to the right ways of thinking
• always please me when I'm addicted in preparations for exams
• always encourage me on doing what I wants for
• always understand what I desired for and reasons why
• always have many common topics to chats with and discuss about how & why
• always listen to my small little happiness things that makes me happy
• always hugs me when I get into problems or even happiness
• every monday is our day to talks and chats about after we finish our class

I've got her. She's a gifts from God to me. And I appreciated her very very much like she appreciated me. 

Ways of In and Out

Life is always a suspense account, its also a double entry system sometimes.  God always fair, in another way that different with humans. This is why we called It -- GOD!
Whenever... god close one of your door, It will open another door for you.
Likewise... ones person happiness, is another persons sadness.
Besides... ones person satisfactions, is done by another persons sacrifactions.
Between... ones person success, is another persons failures.
And so... ones person laugh, is another persons tears.
Perhaps... your rightful judgement, is wrongful in his/her point of view.
Whichever... ones person freedom, is another persons bounds (bind/tie-up).
Whatever... things you give up, is another persons chances & oppoutunities.
Hence... ones input is another output or otherwise.
Eventually, this world is always trying to balance in some kind of formulations and etc. Whether directly or indirectly, significantly or insignificantly... It takes time for everyone of us to understand not only on the sentences or words but also the real meanings behind the sentences and the words. 
What's most important? The answer at the end doesn't means everything. But yet the process is everything for all. Take a big breathe to experiences it, feel it, think about it, express it in a good manner, remember the lesson to ensure not repeating the same kind of mistakes. 
When will this world being balance!?!?!? Balance as I desire for... ... ... 

Their Favourites Quote Ownership

Every of them are special and unique. They have their favourites QUOTE. No matter they realised or not. However, me and my friends do realized about it. They are professional but yet they have very kind and humble personality. Besides, they are full of sense of humourous. 
All their favourites quote at the following has their owner and ownership. Just that, they did not register only.. LOL.. =D xD
And now, here is it :

• Absolutely No No
• I assume you know
• Sometimes the common sense is not so common
• *laugh*hahahah* it is just an academic jokes
• I'm very fussy
• etc...

Any add-on, please leave comment. Let's cheers in our study=) Enjoy^.*

你不明白我的明白

不是每个人都能明白我的明白。不，因该说绝大部分的人都不能！我不需要每个人一一的去明白或了解我世界的程式结构和生活方式。所以，那绝大部分的人根本不需要刻意地去认同我的现实世界也没有必要勉强自己去走进我那世界。而你，总会明白我的明白。可惜的是，我不能完全明白你的明白。你的自我防护程度比我强；更正确的说法应该是远远比我的更加强！但，你暗地里默默所做的我都能感受得到；就如同我暗地里所牵挂的你都得感受得到。
除非我愿意打开我的心扉让你进入我内心深处探个究竟。否则，就没有刻意去明白我的需要也没有刻意认同我的必要。心里别总是犹如那本‘一万个为什么’的书，一一的追寻不必要的答案和探讨无谓的答案。

Life is Sucks; So sorry

Life is sucks when:

• some people force me to do something I dislike and not interested on
• some people force me to live my life according to their lifestyle and pattern
• some people cannot understand the meaning of life and did not live life to the fullest
• some people have not understand their border line when with me
• some people trying to change who I am (Think, change the world is hard.)
• some people did not take things seriously
• some people did not thoughts for further view
• some people did not know their bondaries in a friendship
• some people don't even act gentlemently
• some people care and bother me and my thoughts either personal things too much over
• some people feel I'm tough and hard but yet still make a try on me (Get out)
• pretending like knowing and understanding me well
• tries to step one step towards to my deepest part of heart and yet was not the one I desired for
• things doesn't go smoothly as i wish and yet gettings more complicated and duplicated.
• I meant what I'm trying to say but the other doesn't take it seriously
• I feel guilty but yet the other party on that situation doesn't think/feel so

And so, beg your pardon that today mood was definately in a madness situation and yet mad you through msn. Feel sorry but yet I'm not the one that 100% wrongful.

Be Peace, Can't We?

All I wants is just be peace. Why don't just stop what's the matter that recently happened. I'm very sure that, all these problems doesn't make it on one short day. It's accumulated from past until now. Why must everytime starts talking then end up like a mad cow. Families, under one huge tree. All I wanted was just be peace in house. Don't grumbling each other this and that. Every human has their inner good and bad. I hate noisy and trouble maker in house. 
Live in peace is that hard? All of us was actually lack of communications. And yet not understanding each other but only ourselves. Try to talk in smoother way when asking for a favor. Try to discuss in a better manner but not like owing you hundred thousand. Try to think of each other has their own stress no matter you are working or studying. Try to understand that all of us wanted to give a helping hand on this house this family. Don't always use own-thinking to judge what she or he will think. Try to ask for more in a correct manner. Try not to always misunderstanding each other means on words or sentences. Try to avoid once talk then fight til the end of the story. Sometimes lose or win doesn't really matter. 
Be happiness as a family, peace as a family, love each other more. Not that so impossible, All of us need a try on it. You Me Her Him and I... ... Perhaps it might gets better. I don't want any tears droping, hiding own-self crying, back-stabbing each other faults, grumblng each other wrong. All of us should feel the guilty and the sinful. How will daddy feel or thinking about all these happening when he looking on us from the heaven. How faults and wrongful we are being acting like these and let it happened just like this by not doing anything. I hate these kind of feelings, I hate the argue noisy environments. 
Let's think about all these issue deeply seriously!! For our own good and each other good.

答案与疑惑

总告诉自己，‘怎么可能会...对，根本不可能会有些什么！’...没错，总是这么一再提醒自己。虽然如此，当你冒出一句‘现在’--当然不可能；‘以后’--不可能会变成可能；当身边的朋友都说真的‘很不一样’，‘很不相同’，‘差别很大’，‘分别明显’...当下的我...心，动摇了！相对的，此时此刻，不自觉地有一种恐惧感。
你我都了解，他一点都不愚钝,这么精明自当然感觉到些什么。毫无疑问，他肯定察觉到。那么，他不是应该远离我吗？不是应该直接的或婉转的说清楚吗？可悲的是...他没有这么做！这么一来，使我发觉到自己的罪恶感，恶魔的一面正在不断地增加。答案，只有他知道！
有时候只是想让自己冷静一点...无路可退？不至于吧！还是说我和他其实在考验对方的极限？反正由始至此，没有流泪的一方，双方都没有受罪！一个错误，可以在第二次的尝试中确定它的存在，并且着手去修正。
有时候只是想让自己勇敢一点。如此放下是想让彼此都好过些。适时地回味，回忆总是美！
算了吧，反正当适当的时机到来时，所有一切的答案都会毫无遮掩的全盘托出！别作无谓的思考，享受现在的状况最实际=）

Hols Trip To Cameron Highlands

After our (girls) Acca Exam ended. There's a trip that already planned in advanced which is headed to -- Cameron Highlands for 3Days 2Nights at 27th - 29th of June 2009. Total of 9 friends were going and had already dealt with it previously. Meanwhile, eveLyn, LiShan, Cindy, Leanne, Daphne, KokSing, Sit, Hin, CheeLeong.
27th June;
CheeLeong and Sit came over Cheras to pick me and LiShan up and so headed to Cindy's house--Damansara Utama. And so, there's some rules while all the way to our destiny. That is, I ain't no chance to sit together with dear LiShan. As both of the guy was claiming that, once we both sit together then starts to begins with our own worlds of imaginations and chit chating without bothering any others else. Arrived Cindy's house meet with Cindy, Daphne, Leanne, KokSing and Hin. Before get rid to start with our journey Cindy's sister was asked by us for a minor help which is taking our grouping photos.
Now and then all the way (highway). Cindy's their side shouldn't be any problem in communicating as far as she was there. However, our side do really having communication problems as quite and peace with few little sentences of chit chatting and for then remains silence. That's nothing why, just hardly to get starts with it.
Firstly arrived Bidor, was been there to take our perhaps brunch. That's a wonderful brunch. I'm lucky that sharing with LiShan. Otherwise can't finish the food end up wasted only.
As time passes, we'd finally reach our destiny - Cameron Highlands. Since both vehicles was full of luggages and drivers do need some short rest. Therefore, check-in for the apartment that Cindy booked before time. No lift supply, but it doesn't really matter as ours were just at 2nd floor. There's really great weather... Loving it.. The apartment looks great. Perhaps it do really great 3 rooms 2 bathroom, kitchen, tv etc... The most important is, the places is definately clean, neat and tidy. Cindy, you do really done a great job on this =) Let's cheers!
After settle down luggages and other stuff with resting time. Step out from the apartment and we starts ahead to 'Boh' Tea Farm. The view there was absolutely great. Althought it's uncomparable with Bali. But it's still consider absolutely great. All of us was enjoying photo shoting there when all the way walk to the top as well as all the way walk to the bottom. That's really fantastic! 
Then, we went for the night market there to grabs some raw food materials for our dinner. Nice cold weather like this, the best suits dinner for sure definately is - Steamboat! After grabing those raw food materials then we're on our ways back to apartment. Preparations of food was done by Cindy, Leanne and Daphne. So where's LiShan and eveLyn been? Laziness awake both of us that's why we didn't help on preparing. Aww, for sure this is not the reason. That's is because that the kitchen is 'BIG' enough until can only fits in 3 persons. 'Big' right!? LoL
Was already late night.. Its a quiet night but because of 9 of us, it becomes what so called 'horrible' night. We take a walk around the area. All the way while we walking, there is full of jokes funs and joys. That causes us non-stop laughing there. This is the reasons why the quiet night 'transform' becoming a 'horrible & terrible' noisy night. And yet we're lucky as we ain't not receiving any kind of complaints in any kind of forms. After we back to apartment, me and LiShan was really tired enough and we get to bed 'offline' with them early. But heard so they saying that Daphne, Cindy and Leanne wasn't sleep enough as 3 of them same bedroom and chit chat until late late night! Me and LiShan was lucky to be fits into the room and we both can chats whatever worlds we wanted to be in. :p
28th June;
Early morning, awake by the others and it was only 7am. Excluded me and LiShan, the other 7 persons went for a morning walk. Both of us didn't join the morning walk. No reasons why! Just not so that in on it.
After everybody finish preparing showering and etc... 2nd day journey starts. Today's weather doesn't looks nice and great. Morning after breakfast, we went to Butterflies & Flowers House. Then we went to Strawberries Farm but we didnt pick it! As we thinks that's not really a need to do so perhaps!
Then noon time we take our lunch in a simple but yet nice feelings restaurant. The Lemon Tea there was amazingly taste delicious. The boss home-made Lemon Tea. Sky getting darker and darker yet starts raining. Almost the whole afternoon until evening was raining. The earlier plan burst it but yet still be in funs and laughing. Sitting at the restaurant while awaiting for the rains to stop, there're planning for the next having great chats y playing cards and so on.
Rains gets smaller.. good for us! We'd been sitting at the restaurant for several hours. What to do! Weather problem! Now, headed to Catus & Flower Farm. The flowers and catus there was really amazed me kinda big huge and absolutely grow in a pretty nice way! That's fantastic. Somehow, over here there's a tiny terrible happenings. As me, LiShan and Cindy was trying to capture a photo from a nice view. But then, there's a group of people perhaps they are all from one same company coming for a trip. 2 fella from that group was actually want to capture photo from the same view as us. End ups, without any other thinking bear in our mind we capture together with the fella. The guy was roughly at the age of 29-30. Asking for my e-mail as wanted to sent me the picture that me Cindy LiShan took together with him, withou any hesitate i gave it. Then, we go on for our walks around there and capturing photos. Eventually end of the farm, the fella was come over again and telling LiShan that, his friend's was saying LiShan is pretty (No doubt yet no need his telling we all also feel so that she's pretty). But yet the fella no wow her but was actually me. He's daring to asking my phone number. Hell man. This kind of guy. What the heck! At that ages wow girls like us at those places. Terrible man! 
Night time, we went to the night market again as everyone of us wants to buy some foods and souvenirs bring back home. Accountants syndrome starts when buying before paying keep on negotiating the price here and there. End up, for sure accountant syndrome win the case! LoL. 
Dinner, we had at outside restaurant. After that went back to apartment for a nap take a rest, then we go starbucks for chit chatting again. But yet there's supper then when back to apartment - Steamboat again. LiShan is not taking the supper as she not feeling well yet need to get to bed sleep early! But I'm suprising Cindy as I'm taking the supper. There's a reasons why am I taking the supper and I guess it doesn't really causing me gain my weight that much for just 1 day as it's only once in a blue moon for that.
That night, me and LiShan was having a great pillow chat that only belongs to we both in our room until 06:15am the morning. Then only we both fall alseep.
29th June;
Early morning wake up gets everything well prepared as there's a fixed timing for the apartment check-out! Packs everything well and proper put all luggages back to that 2 vehicles and yet get things done before the check-out time. Lucky! And so, the 3rd day we enjoy from top to the bottom of Cameron. Went for another place that have nice view as well for Hi-Tea. Before that went to the morning market get some stuff and there, each guys gifts we girls each roses. Thanks alots appreciated it much. But yet personally, me and LiShan feel that, that's wastages. As both of us all the way doesn't have good comments on flowers and strictly speaking we don't like it. We're more materialistics perhaps :p
After the tea-time. We do went to the Gua (don't know what's the gua named) before arrived the place for the dinner. We headed to Ipoh to had our dinner - Chicken Rice with Beansprout. Ended there, then all of us all the way back to KL. Before home, we having drinks at PJ. 
Lastly and Finally, as everybody was tiring and out of energy. We back to our home sweet home.
#We'd capture and shot total of more than 1000+ of photos within this 3D2N trips to Cameron. I definately appreciated this trips and absolutely having funs, joys, and enjoyment on this trips. Take good care everyone and glad to being friends with you all =) 
-End Of Story-

with blessing;

Chin-eveLyn

The Incompleted Piece

This is the piece of my drawing that i did not complete last year December 2008. 
This morning,
I re-arrange my arts stuff from my bookshelves then only I found out the incomplete piece of drawing that I forgotten for so many months.
What's on the drawing paper was those poster&water colour that already dry. For sure
I can still remember reasons why that I did not complete it at that time. This is because I've totally no idea how should I continue on it.
And so.. left it and let it be... Until today, then only I realised that I'd already half year did not touch or produce any of my drawings. This is the longest time that I it aside and did not touched at all. 
This time...
I've no doubt on how to continue on this. But, use of material has changed this time. Did not use any of the poster colour to continue. However, I choose to continue with oil pastels. 
Based on those previous dry poster colour idea that lies on the drawing paper, this is not what I originally wanted to draw. Somehow, that day and today's was different... totally different!! Really! As time passed, the mood, the feelings, thoughts will change accordingly..  This is what I always agree.Ends up I completed it with today's feelings and thoughts come out with this.This 2 picture was  the completed work.And so...I do believe that this is just merely similar with my feelings now. I might be astray, I might be lost  my direction on my path on studies and others things. No matter what. But..This will never happen for permenant; all these was only temporarily. Perhaps...all I need is 'time' for me to handle and rearrange everything and re-evaluate it. Then I can get my answer, then I can go through on it. Rainbows will appears after the rain.  Wish everything will be alright. Mentally & Physically. May God bless me. Blessing..

Give Up or Continue ?

Finally, this round ACCA exam already finish. This is the first time that I'm not enough time to do all 3 papers. Really sucks.. Time planning need to review. Must control well next round for others papers. After these 2 months of 'war', then went for exam, and now my feelings is just 50:50. May god bless me well. 
Somehow, this is the time for me to think deeply whether am I really suitable study ACCA. All these time I never think of this question as I no doubt that I can handle it not very well but at least ok. In this world, there's no stupid people; there's only have lazy people. 
I don't know whether is because I'm lazy or what other reasons. A month ago, 'someone' from NY called me. And so, that call was said that 'If you know you're stupid enough, don't waste your time and money. Come out and look for a job and leave your studies. It's been so many years hearing that you're still studying.'  On the spot, my heart is painful, and trying to control my tears flows out.  This kind of feelings doesn't taste good. 
No doubt that after the call ends, I was start thinking that 'Am I really not suitable study?'. This is really struggling me. And even influence my mood and my feelings badly. I start doubting that, I might really not that kind of  'study materials' type, I might really wasting my time,wasting my sister's money. 
When failures come to me, when  people asking why  am I failed. I never said is because other people also failed, I failed so what. I know that's definately my problems. I do really try my very best  for my exam everytime.  I do really feel very embarrassing.
It is because I didn't work hard enough, didn't put enough effords, didn't study hard enough because I lazy or because I'm just as the person said, I'm stupid?. I'm getting not believing what myself used to believed in all the while. I'm starting to wondering whether where should I belongs to.
Friends around was trying to make me understand every people is different, don't compare myself with my sister.  Frankly speaking, I don't ever dare to compare myself with my sister. She's a very successful woman no matter in her studies her life  her career neither her marriage. She is always the person influence me so that I  keep on reminding myself to study hard to achieves my desire future.
See somehow, after that calls I do confidence went down to negative. I guess I should give up, but that's the true that I do really take my study very very serious and never thought of play a fool on my studies; Or I should continue with my studies and ignores what the person said to me on that phonecalls? Should I give up my study or continue? 

Just leave, I don't give a Dxxx!!

If you really can't adapt with my life, just leave my circle! I don't give a damn.
Yea, not everyone can understand my life. You might think that my life is kind that boredom study, study and still only study. So what, that's my life. So long as I myself know that the way I live my life now is for a better future life why not i work harder. If you think you really can't fit in in my life, then go away just leave. Go ahead with the lifestyle you headed to, go for the lifestyle that you're so into.
But... bear in mind. Since we're in the different world of thoughts, PLEASE don't ever try to changes my mind my thinking and my thoughts. Go ahead and searching for your circle and get out. You can never ever doubt me that study is just nothing and not everything. Hell ya, who doesn't know that study is not everything BUT knowledge do mean everything! At least I think so. In the case that nobody can make changes on you and so please don't you try to make changes on other people.
Don't tell me to play hard and enjoy now. How long can you play a fool? Until ages can you play around? Don't tell me how should we enjoy our life by playing fool with ur life. Perhaps I would rather tough life for now and get a better future. As this is just a matter sooner or later. Another thing you must bear in your 'wonderful' mind is that, playful is not everything and it doesn't gain any benefits as well in long term.
Yea, my life might be just study, my life might be very stress and tension as you see. But so what, I'm just definately not so into you even your life. You might kind that into alcohol but so sorry I'm just only into plain mineral water. I don't disturb your playful on your life and path. And so you don't disturb my path and my life. I do really enjoy my life well very well.
No doubt that I just concern on my studies. But I don't think so there's anything wrong about it. Nah, my life definately full of thoughts about career, money, rich, good future. You told me that's impossible to happen. One thing you must know, nothing is impossible just the matter you wanna make it happen or not.
If you think you have problem with that, leave my circle! I don't give a damn.

Stress and Pressure

ACCA exam once again (should said twice in a year) is around the corner of June.. No doubt that this time I do really finish my self-revision earlier than last time.. Impressive.. Somehow, finish self-revision doesn't mean I can remember and reproduce all of them..
Tough days onwards for me as this sem my IRC class was really peak.. May of 16th 17th F6-Taxation.. 19th 20th 21st 22nd of May F9-Financial Management.. 23rd 24th 25th 26th of May F5-Performance Management.. Heavy yea really heavy for me.. Continuously.. Really no comment..
Today 23rd of May and I seems getting sick soon as today keep on sneezing in the class.. H1N1? nah, for sure NOT.. Just that sensitive nose and these several heavy days sitting in a over-cold classroom.. that's why get hit by Flu.. or perhaps probably is because college air-condition system is been a long long time didnt service, that's why i keep on sneezing in the class.. Cindy, really touchwood ha ya :p xD
Recently, because busy on preparing for exam and facing stresss plus pressure.. Attitude kind that different from usual.. And so, I seems neglect my dear friends.. Besides, I didn't reply you guys message that sent to me and didn't answer you guys phone call.. I do really beg your pardon.. So sorry..
Anyways, after exam I'll probably back to normal for sure.. I just need time yea really need my own time for preparing exam..
And to avoid myself really fall sick the next day, already took 3 tablets of vitamin C.. god bless me.. ~~ ~~ I can't sick for this important timeframe as facing timing constrain as well..

你我他

请不要试图深入的了解我或者深入的探究我。这样，只会让我逃离，只会令我巩更巩固的围墙（除非是你）。
个人观点与角度有偏差，出来的结论会随而不同，因人而异！反正很多时候，事情都是“非对则错”。天使面孔会有恶心的一面；恶魔脸孔也会有善心的一面！那些所谓的“天使”或“恶魔”用在人类身上，都只不过是个形容词。月若无恨月常圆。所以根本不必理会哪个形容词会用在你身上！
问题的所在是缺乏勇气还是这剧本一开始本身就是一个错！？或许...我们只是在重复的去犯错。你我他，你没有否认，我没有承认，他一直在默认。但我们仨，没有一方想过要更改这剧情的错误程式，也没一方愿意知道为什么。反正不知道为什么的话会比较简单，并没有逃避的成分这是真的！其实早就察觉到程式出了差错，所以...才会一直这样！
多少次了，你把我推向他的方向到底前前后后有多少次了？我他是过去式，虽然他希望再度寻回已失去的未来式！没错当初是因为赌气但渐渐的你也知道我他，已经不可能了，你知道的也了解的因为是从我口中推辞掉的！今天，你又再一次的从你口中把我推向他！遗忘过去是你教的，把过去记得一清二楚的人也是你！这样好吗？你真的无所谓吗？若是真的无所谓，那为何你总是旧事重提一次又一次的提起！
一位友人对我说道...
要不，就是你没有勇气缺乏信心且知道他在很努力的在挽回所以只好推向他；不然，就是你知道不可能一起（或许应该说是你自己觉得自己认为不可能）所以避免伤害就只好推向他。我可不是一扇门，可以让你他又推又拉！可有尝试问问我... ... ... ...
别对我说那是因为太了解我！你到底有多了解我？如果仅仅只是单单单纯的了解知道我的姓名年龄，就请你别净说那些莫名其妙摸不着头脑不负责任不着边际的话语！这样只会令我伤心失望...然后陷入绝望的边缘。朋友嘛，好朋友应该亲口问，得知到一清二楚！！！

总是销声匿迹的那个

那个...
总是一失踪就消失几个月的人...
近这几天又回归正常了，有找我。看来我还算是幸运的，至少他有找我！并不是近期才这么样玩失踪，打从以前就是这种性格，所以说其实不难了解。
恭喜他...
终于在茫茫人海失业率多倍涨高的泡沫经济时期找得到他总算是‘还满意’的工作。换句话说，肯定比之前更加会玩失踪。因为生活有了一定的规律（上班下班，早起迟睡）比之前更加的忙碌了，尤其是工作上。听他而言工作上几乎每天都忙。可别忙得忘了吃午饭才好哦!
愚人节那天...
本打算捉弄捉弄他，所以就给他发了一封短讯（内容免谈，甚无聊的）。居然没回应!之后思考着，会否因为那封短讯而害怕了呢？不过，既然短讯已经发了就由得他吧!反正只是个玩笑 =)
算着算着...多久没见面了？这朋友还真的够另类够特别。况且，他实在是没有时间又忙碌，可是真的很努力的在工作。反正他从未食言过，就饶了他吧!
最近...
不知吹什么风（管它到底是西北风还是东南风），总之就是不知道吹什么风似的又出现联系上了。他还呐喊着--我不要做穷忙族～～　相信没有人会想做穷忙族吧!大概有什么改变了他的思维！没错，肯定是！多得他介绍了那本好书好文章。虽然还未阅读完毕，不过当中的含义和精髓，大概也在慢慢的改变着我的思维！完成阅读后，还真地要他告诉我他的计划！前提是当我完成阅读后才能知道到底他在小心翼翼的计划着什么？有着一个怎么样的计划？
等待吧！期待吧！

一个对海鲜与芒果敏感的人（第２篇）

最近一位朋友对我说我所坚持的决心很强，一但下定决心就办得到！她说，运用在好的地方当然最好不过；若运用得不适当（比方说，报复）定必后果严重！
那一天．．．突然的说‘eveLyn,你部落格里的我就出现那么的一次？’
前一阵子突如其来的在想...有多久没有和Ｓ好好地坐下来对话聊天了？有多久我们没有分享我们的生活了？虽然如此，但我却从来都不担心说我和你之间会渐渐的疏远，变得陌生！这，肯定是因为我们彼此的默契，信任与彼此的互相体谅！
最近，我们俩可以算总是出去！真的是托他们的福，我们能有时间聊聊天谈谈最近过得怎么样。显然，你知道我身体状况不太好。Ｃ告诉我说，你就快要杀死我！真的很对不起看来我又让你操心了。怎么总是这样，越不想让你担心越不希望你操心；却越让你操心。你没有对我说出口，但Ｃ说你真的担心。当然我相信！真的对不起！
还记得那天，我最需要你的肩膀的那天！一直强忍着眼泪。但，不知为什么，一见到你时眼泪就失控似的刘宰你肩膀上！那天的你不怎么样，可是你却一个劲地只顾着安慰我，舒缓我那激动的情绪。我统统都记得！
今天那个‘八’的给我来电，和他畅谈了一下下。他竟然说，看得出你对我很好，没有阻止我所做的事，就因为相信我。他告诉我，要appreciated你这位好朋友，好知己！这当然，不用他提醒我也会＝）
其实很多时候就算我不把事情说出口，你也略知一二。无可否认你对我的理解能力有一定的程度！就算你知道了事情的开端，你也从不逼我告诉你，就一直在等待我自己对你说！你总是让我自己决定自己选择要告诉你与否。看来对我，你是绝对信任的＝）我这种性格总是莫名其妙的人有你这朋友。可真没话好说＝）
好比上次那件事情，早就知你得知一二。就一直在等着我告诉你事情的一切却没在我面前提过半句，反而装作什么都不知道也没埋怨我怎么不告诉你。你很清楚我在挣扎着吧！挣扎着我到底该怎么开口告诉你，该怎么说出口！？其实当初考虑到的问题就在于，一但对你说了事情的一切而你又不能接受。那，我该怎么办？说了令你操心怎么办？令你操心我会觉得不好意思！不过，当我决定了告诉你的那一刻，看到你的反应我就整个人轻松了１００倍。你只说了一句‘你最终还是选择对我说了（微笑）’
“朋友不能这么样计算！你不麻烦我不拉着我说到底发生什么事，那就真糟糕了！好朋友就是希望你拉着我说不厌其烦的事情分享乐趣与困难！”Ｓ，这句话是你总对我说的！
我相信‘真正的朋友就算没有话题也不会感到尴尬！’你这位好朋友在，我相信我坚定的决心不会用在不适当的地方＝）

面具

每个人都戴着一副假面具生活，
和穿着一件衣服没什么分别。
如果一直给真面目别人看，
有时会觉得不好意思！
最重要的是...
你为了什么要戴起那副假面具！
只要不伤害到其他人，就算...
戴着那副假面具，
都不算是一件坏事！

Truthfully, Suddenlly, Accidentally...

This issue happens very suddenly and accidentally!
Wondering whether should classified it as 'accidentally' as this might be human errors or misunderstanding or wrong 'interpretation'...
This is recently happen;
But yet all can do is just don't think too much about it. And so PRETENDING nothings goes wrong in any kind of meaning.
Frankly telling that, MUST focus on :
ACCA June'2009 Exam is coming soon. Which is left only LESS THAN 3 months time. Approximately 3 papers @ 21days per paper = 63days=1512hours.. Having timing constraint.
Timing must be well 'plainning' & 'allocate'.
This is actually what should do and what usually be planned and follow!
ACCA = Always Come & Come Again. Hopefully can put an ENDING before 23! Doesn't want to show NEVERENDING STORY I & II & III & etc... ...
What a TOUCHWOOD. Anyways, must success with no reason for failure this time!!
That problematics issue that 100% more complicated than Cost of Capital Chapter Formulae in F9. Better set it aside and just LET IT BE.
Don't waste up the TIME. Scare Resources Per Limiting Factor Priority of Allocations :
1. ACCA June'09 Exam - As nobody wish that ACCA exam become a humours jokes as ACCA = Always Come & Come Again. (LOL)
2. ACCA June'09 IRC - Must handle SUCCESSFULLY the sucks of 8 days continuously with everyday 6hours. Strictly speaking, absolutely no time to HANG your neck.
3. ACCA June'09 IRC - another BLESSING 2 days for another paper for 7hours per day.
4. ACCA June'09 IRC - should be 11days continuously as 18 March consider as overall self-briefing.
5. ACCA June'09 solve = Problem solve =) - Which is HOPEFULLY as everybody WISH!!


With Love & Blessing,
Best Regards;

.::Chin-EveLyn::.

还是清静好，回忆令人老

昨晚大家玩疯了，但我没疯到哪里去。有人说我一副失恋样...什么跟什么，没有恋怎么失；没有单怎么恋！不过确实是在思考着某些事。太久没出来玩疯了似的，所以喝没那几回，我就累了倦了承受不了了...打从心里头想“还是清静好”！
这种疯狂的日子早800个世纪前就已经停止了，还是清静平淡的日子比较适合我！其实，不一定要疯狂的过日子才叫充实；平淡清静的日子也可以过得很精彩很充实。有两个“他”。一个他，让我发觉生活不该因城市的影响而变得慌乱慌忙其实人生路上全都是美好的风景只是我们总没有好好的欣赏使我更喜欢更了解清静的好...他-喜欢平静清静不吵闹的环境就犹如他本身的性格！另一个他，让我了解到应该忙碌的过着充实且不慌不忙的生活之余也应该适当的让自己清静的休息下来...他-喜欢有冲击性的生活就好比他不能不忙碌。
是否有察觉到，虽然在某些时空有很多人聚在一起，但一聊起曾共处时空下的事，却是像拼图一样，惊觉每个人都记住不同的片段。这就表示即使人在同一个时空，拥有共同的记忆资料，但是经过每个人的大脑运作下所组成的资讯却不保证一样。因为每个人大脑的运作是孤独的，是独一无二的。我又会否是那两个“他”，人生本子里的其中一段美丽的插曲！
回忆令人老，想起所有小时候的回忆；再看看现在的自己...真的觉得时间飞逝过得那么的快。就算我们仍然停留于某些事物，时间还是不停的一分一秒的走动着，从未为谁而停顿过！或许，我们的人生也一样（在不知不觉中）！总之，天下所有快乐的事，一定都多少伴随着痛苦的。这就是人生！
不只回忆重要，成为别人的回忆更加难得可贵。到底，在你的回忆里是什么人呢？而你又会是谁的回忆呢？我又会成为谁的人生本子里的其中一段美丽的插曲？

认真

其实并不是没有想过要认真。就是因为知道自己太认真难以投入，所以才会每次调闹着玩。反正就闹着玩，没有开始也没所谓的结束！保持距离就能保护自己！但也了解到这么做并不代表不会伤害到他人。
男人总觉得，应该说男人总认为女人就是喜欢将小事复杂化，胡思乱想。而且‘女人’很‘累人’;男人’不也‘难忍’吗！只想说，并不是所有的女人都这样。有些事情，真的宁愿选择简单就好。
之前也有想过，只是认为自己多心。直到前几天为止，才擦决到有些什么不一样。或许该说根本没什么事情发生。只不过在真正发生之前“可免则免”，可不希望误会真的发生。因为...真的并不想伤害别人小小的纯真心灵！
有两个她，第一个她总提醒我‘看着点，要当心；别受伤害，也别伤害他人’！另一个她总教导我‘得到教训要牢记，别重复同样的错；哪里跌倒，就从哪里爬起来’！她们俩所说的话，我放进心里头时时刻刻都用来提醒自己，警惕自己。
觉得我很好很不同吧！你只看见外表的一面。认为对我越来越了解吧，其实只是幻觉！就算了解也只是表面上的罢了。当然，对朋友我是一视同仁相对同样的关心！你对我的寄望，还是算了吧！我所期盼的是彼此不伤害。简单平凡就这样就好。我是有挂念的两个人，可惜那不是你！我需要的，你给不了（应该说我要的不是你所给的）；我的世界，你进不了也了解不了！
我这么说是很直接干脆，但总比你陷入深渊面对我这恶魔时痛苦难受！原谅我没亲口对你说，但至少写了出来，我比较安心。怎么说，我们还是朋友！有些时候，朋友就朋友，不多一点什么也不少一些什么！
我一直都没有忘记自己的意愿，我始终认为我花那么多时间读书是正确的！所谓的情爱只占据了生活本子的一页罢了。人生与生活并不只有情情爱爱那么渺小；人生与生活的其中还包含许许多多更精彩更充实的事物等待着我们。要记得世界之大！求学和前途还是最重要！

Muar-Melacca Trip

I'm invited by my dear friend--JaCinth to go her hometown--Muar together with ChoyLeng(dear friend too) as 09March has no F5 class. Plan is 09March Muar, 10March Melacca!! As plan, 08March I went to their rent condo stay overnight.
09March morning, my mummy called and saying that she can fetch us go Puduraya Bus Station. Well, that's great because can saved another few Riggits for bus fare (typical accountant ha)!!! Unlucky, get into the bus then the weather start rain. Actually, KL already rain for several days.
If I didn't go for trip then rainy day a nice weather for me. Too bad that's not a great weather for people going for trip!First time take bus to go for trip, god didn't give face raining somemore(normally go by car)!
Way go to Muar-at bus;
Bus,11:30 start. All the way, ... ... still raining raining and raining.. wondering when will stop! Between, as I don't have the habits of taking nap when travel or even at home. And so, all the while i listening to my mp4, day dreaming and sms-ing with my friend. Perhaps, to kill my time at bus! Really didn't sleep (back KL that time funny happens)!! Reach Muar almost 13:45. Fast but safe=) Lucky!!
Muar;
JaCinth's mummy pick us at Muar Bus Station! It's been a long long time I didn't visit this place. As i remember, the last time I visit Muar is around 5 or 6 years ago!! After pick us up, her mum take us for lunch--char siu, siu yok rice, otak-otak. What a nice and cheap lunch! At KL, won't get to eat at that kind of prices!!
Weather still stay the same--Raining.. After lunch, we back to JaC's house to put our stuff, take a nice bath. Because of raining, so we decide to wait for awhile see whether the rain will stop or not then only we continue to the next.. As me and ChoyLeng watching a Korea Drama and JaC online msn for awhile. Purpose is the same, killing the time as waiting for the rain stop. JaC so kind that tell her friend saying that we've already arrived and now watching drama at her living room. Jokes 1-Her friend reply saying her 'You invited your friend come to your hometown to watch drama at your house?'. =) LOLX... Well, her friend really FUNNY!! Humour enough ha!! Wondering!!!!!!!!!!
After that, JaC drive us go out to walk around. Then go Tanjong,Muar to eat something nice and ABC. Within 8hours already eat 2 times. At KL that's impossible happens on me! Somehow go for travel so just eat but still eat carefully watch'out the portion! Go fat faster, go for thin is hard. Weather no changes still raining and raining!!
Between, JaC's driving skill i have really no comment. Wondering next time when i get license will i become like that. Hopefully no!! hahahah =)
Night time, JaC's friend--HouSeng come and drive us out for dinner. Perhaps it's looks like supper. Her friend is a nice guy, luckily not that kind of hard to communicate =) Jokes 2-'3 of you bring rain come Muar!'. The dinner place is quite nice, environmental is good! Dinner is heavy--Ikan Bakar, Fried Sotong etc... ...Chit chat and jokes around!! It's already late night.. Next go and have drinks (non-alcohol) continue chatting!
In between, when on the way back Jac's house, Jac and HouSeng using Hokkien to communicate. As me and ChoyLeng is 'Half Tank Water'. I have really NO IDEA what they both chats about! Wondering... Then reach JaC house! Having a great rest! JaC, thanks for your treat for the 1st meal at Muar!! Enjoying!!!!
Melacca;
09:30, JaC's friend--HouSeng come and fetch us. As next trip is Melacca. He's not fetching us to bus station; he's fetching us all the way to Melacca. As he's studying at Melacca. And so, he wil be our one-day drive at Melacca. See, how nice was her friend!!
Already 3 or 4 years didnt visit to Melacca... Change a lot as well!!!
As her friend having class at 16:00 to 19:00. So, before class he take us walk around! Firstly, of course settle our breakfast first for sure. Breakfast--Rice Ball Chicken Rice, Asam Fish, Vegetable, Soup. That's tasty esoecially the SOUP!! Wonderful. The shop really country style match with Melacca, nice design that suits Melacca culture! Walk around..
After that, her friend drive us to Hotel for check-in! put down everything our stuff! Then continue to the next... Hentian Hang Jebat..Don't misunderstand. This is only the Hentian we take boat. The boat round around Melacca!! Nice view, nice feelings.. and perhaps what a nice weather.
It's SUNNY DAY!! The breakfast haven't digest, here they go bring me for cendol and rojak for--03:15pm Tea Time!!! Lucky is, whatever that is 'cecair' i can take as much as i can especially plain water=) As I wont so fast 'tangki bocor' like 'someone'...heheh..
It's time for her friend to go for class. And so, he drop us at shopping mall area and also nearby our hotel! Then here he go for his class and we walk around shopping mall. ChoyLeng bring me eat something tasty and nice, but i've no idea what that things called. It's green and white inside that have something nice! Thanks ChoyLeng=) After that we walk back to Hotel take a pretty nice bath to relax as sweat a lot and also very sticky!! yer!!
After bath and everything, her friends really on time! her friend already finish class then come to take us out again. This time for dinner (Forgotten what the dinner is). It's a nice and tasty dinner too=) Next, we go for Taming Sari there! Have a great look at Melacca Great and Nice View!! Somehow, if the worker there play some English Song then the atmosphere will be really perfect and match the feeling at the moment!!
Then we go for movie "Love Matter". It's a Singapore movie. LOLX. Really laugh a lot because of this movie. But then, not as what i expect. Story line just so so only, other that makes people LOLX..What a LOL movie... hahahAlready mid night!! Pass by Arena Bar (pas by only really didnt get in).. After LOL movie, now go for a much more peaceful place, should say a bridge long long bridge! The end of the bridge can see the nice view of sea ( don't know is sea or river, as i remember is sea), also saw the 'eyes on malaysia' that from Titiwangsa shifted to Melacca!! Great.. Enjoyable.. The place there really gives people nice feelings to ave a great chats with friends..
Is time to back Hotel take bath and get a nice sleep as tomorrow morning 09:45 bus to KL and need to attend F9 class that start 14:00.. Problem here, JaC and ChoyLeng already fall asleep as after we finish bath already 04:30! Only me can't fall sleep (miss my dear poodle and home sweet home too much). Morning 05:25 only i get into dream. But then 08:00 wake up and well-prepare everything to back KL. Again on time her friend arrived and sent u to bus station.
Thanks to HouSeng as he being our one-day driver plus tour guide!! Thanks a lots.
Way back to KL-at bus;
Bus ticket--JaC's friend help us buy earlier already!Get into the bus, hmm.. not bad consider clean also, air-cond well functioning! Not even half way (i guess just 1/4 1 Quarter) the bus driver told us the bus having problem so need to change another bus.
After changing bus, ChoyLeng sit together with JaCinth. Problem here, the other bus no single place seats! Meanwhile i sit behind them with a stranger (young men also actually). ChoyLeng very fast fall asleep, I guess she very tired as yestertday she's super excited when we having dinner. Never saw her excited-side should say over-excited! It's a good thing for her ( at least me and JaC think it's good for her ). JaC listening song and rest (for sure she didn't sleep).
As i mention above, I don't have the habits of taking nap when travel or even at home. But... I guess I over-tired.. Because yesterday just sleep for only 3hours... ...and so I fall asleep! Problem is, I sleep at the guy shoulder. What the... ... He didn't wake me up.. Lucky is he didnt scold me.. Really Sweat... ... But then after i wake up that time i also get shock that i sleep until like this.. Yea, it's comfortable but really feel sorry as we didn't know each other also! Somehow i know his name is called-Laurence! Once again SORRY!
Finally reach KL, get down the bus on the way walk to college. JaCinth only tell me that, she THOUGHT that the guy is my old friends. As she didnt turn behind and see only heard that me n the guy saying something. After that I told her what's happening and i fall asleep. JaCinth LOL... i really feel malu and paiseh!!

Well, this trip I do really enjoying having lots fun and of course MEMORABLE. It's really wonderful and amazing trip. Perhaps, I wish to go for the next together with both of u again too =) Miss ya and see you both around college=) K.I.T.

10years time, so what...

Recently many things happened! Finally, he moved out! 10years time, but... so what!? Already 1 week he lefted and moved out! She has nothing to say about all this and that and even what's really happening. Fine, let him leave as she wish! So long as she's happy with the deicison she make. We have really no comment! Somehow, all these is non of my business. Why bother!I have no idea why you all call me and keep asking me 'what's really happening?', 'what's really going on?', 'What's the real problem between them?'. All I can answer is 'I don't know anything!'. You all blame me saying that I pretend like non-of my business, blame me saying that's impossible I knw nothing. Fine, because this even non-of anybody else business. So, what makes you all outsiders bother so much!? Today's things happened, for sure it's accumulated from this 10years time. No doubt that that's impossible we don't know what's really going on. Whatever things she do, she even told me. Yea, the most she talks with -- is me! Anyhow, that's their both prolems! Somehow this is also adult problems. Can you all please just don't involved me in!? I'm actually in a dilemma position. All I can do is be NEUTRAL. I will not stand on her or him. Their problem need to settle by themselves not me not you not outsiders not anybody else. We should know well that we're in what position. And so we must know what we must do, what we shouldn't do; what we must say, what we shouldn't even comment on it! This is not what I should take care of, so please just set me aside out of this matter. This is unfair for me. You all want to know the truth huh? Well, just go and figure out by yourself. Don't come over to me. That's enough!!

ACCA Dec'08 Results

Last time, when I knew my sister get very well done strike in ACCA never fail any papers before my reaction is just 'so what..'. But.. I getting realised that how tough ACCA was and how great my sister done! I just take 2 papers per sem also I cannot do well! I'm kinda stupid, useless. Everybody expect that I can do very well. Unfortunately, I didn't. What's my problem? Too nervous about exam hall. Can't calm down once in front exam hall. What to do to cure this kind of nervous? Wondering whether I'm not study type. This year already 20, don't even finish half. 2 papers fail 1 paper. What the hell I'm doing for this several years. Idiots...

A Friend That Didn't Meet Up For 4-Years

05 February 2009. Yea, that's yesterday! Yesterday went out with Jac and SJ at Time Square. Too free nothing to do go there? Absolutely not! We went there buy birthday present. Frankly speaking, I not really want to attend the birthday party because first, too far away from my home(Cheras--Setapak); second, I don't know drive don't even have license; third, althought that girl was my schoolmates but I absolutely not close with her at all (obviously she knew me but I don't know her when secondary's school); fouth... etc. Oh well, I don't want to explain much and also don't want to 'take out' so many reason. Girls can have many reasons and excuse compared to guys! This is what's happening!!Since she so sincerely faithfully inviting me to attend her birthday party. Meanwhile, even I'm not planning to show up that day present is neccessary =) We thought need long time to choose the present but we seems over-estimated! Within 1 hour we finish buy the present! Well then what to do? Walk around then go Kim Gary have a drinks (I have a drink) and Jac SJ have their lunch =) sit there for a long long time chit chating. That's fantastics!! After that we go to Jac's place! Meet CL as well and we had our dinner together!When we almost finish our dinner at the restaurant. Two person walk in at CL realised that the 2 person looking at me. Once I look on that 2 person!! Oh gosh... they are my secondary school friends. One of them even same class with me when we're Form2. I do really very happy that they can still recognised me! It's been a long long time I didnt meet her-- 4-years! Yea 4-years we didnt meet! We didn't forget each other and still remember each other! Not easy =) Not bad too! Well once I chat with her, she start nagged me saying that I didnt find her didnt sms her or even call her. I felt so sorry too!! Once meet with secondary's friends, for sure my memories on that period all recalled!! We're fun that time, lots of things happened happy sad laugh jokes funny ... ... And so we really experienced a lots! Of course among the joyful time--Happy contained the largest portion =) No doubt for this!!I'd promise will contact her when I free =) Feel so sorry that I always busy on my own study!!

A day with a friend who 'usually' didn't turn his promise on!

Today was a great day. KC already promised me many times that he wanted to come my home find me, but he didn't keep his promised. Why he didn't keep his promise? All this is because he don't have car to drive to my home. How far he stayed? That's supreme bloody far--Kota Kemuning!! (Near Shah Alam area) Really damn far for me because I don't even owned a driving license. =.= But for him not that far actually. In condition got extra car for him to drive=)
Morning time, I call KC but he didn't pick up. But then later he called back LS. Noon time, CH go LS house take her then come over my house fetch me as well then we went KC's home. Reached his home then only realise that he didn't pick up my call this morning is because he still lying on his bed and no 'energy' to pick up my phone call as he too too too sleep! (sleep until noon time also said sleepy! Really no medicine to cure!!). He really home-alone nobody else at home!!
Thought sit for awhile but then we went for movies at Sunway Pyramid watched Underworld 3. TGV there damn a lot of peoples. Somehow we get to buy 16:30 tickets for the movie. This movies really not bad. Worth to watched =) (with student price only Rm8/= per person) ^^
Finished movie already 18:00++ LS claim that she's hungry. Therefore we plan to 'search' a place for our dinner. Final decision we go Pizza Hut for our dinner. It's already been a long long time I didn't eat Pizza Hut. (already 3years didn't eat at all) Supposedly after the dinner we should visit another friend's home. But because lack of time and very time consuming (as another friend stay PJ area). Hence end up we just 'return' back to KC's home continue our 'entertainment' =)
Suddenly, half way through the 'entertainment' his brother and sister-in-law come back from somewhere. What to do? Obviously wishing them Happy Chinese New Year for sure=)
After the few hours of 'entertainment' ... 23:30 we went to the nearest McD for drinks and chats!! (I treated them for sure because of some betting) Then we chat this and that here and there. I do understand that what you all trying to tell me=) Thanks dear=) (I mean dear friends for sure)
End of today, we back from KC's house from 01:00am. CH sent us (me & LS) back! Arrived my home already 01:35am. Not late, not that early! Finish shower and bla bla bla already 02:00am. Sleep in while soon!! I do really enjoying a great and wonderful day today!! WONDERFUL =)

Hesitate Again?

Hesitate again? Isn't just promise to myself that day would be the last time! What am I doing now? Or I'm just left out too many things between us. Stop asking me out. Don't makes me holds anything about you. All the while, I believe that I'm able to handle it. Those blogs that you spent time and write together with me. I do really appreciated a lot. I remember how you taught me within 2 years to improve my lousy mandarin. I do know that you can rather give up your dreams and come back to find me. I know you can do more for me compare with last time. Anyhow, don't forget that 3years ago is you yourself who saying that we should go for our own dreams. That time... you agreed and I agreed. Yea, there's nothing wrong that go for our dreams. But before you lefted our problem already occured. Before the lady step in, our problem already occured. Is there any reason behind that now you want to hold me back? But that day was the last day, I will not give myself any chance for us. I will not give myself any excuse for myself to have a chance write blog with you. Some memories it's really hard to forget because it's full of memories. Some memory I don't want to forget as well. So please don't come to me any closer. I don't know how many time I can control myself. Do not say easily forever, your pledge load that many.

Someone who being lost in the dense fog

Tonight.. have a great chat with my dear best friend. No doubt that's really a wonderful great chats. After tonights chats, I getting to understand her not absolutely but at least getting to know her well compared to last time. How long been we knew each other? Not a really long period for me. Yea, not really a long period! But both of us have that kind of 'secret agreement'. There's lots of similarity between us. I really can't imagine this. It's so amazing and fantastics =) Fate that brings both of us together? I guess so! I do really learnt a lot from her. I really apreciated our friendship very much and I'm glad that she treated me as her best friend! She know a lot about me and I do so know a lot about her. She used to remind me and wants me to bear in mind that 'don't get injured, always flirt with cautions.'. Perhaps, someday she may being astray being lost... And need someone to be there for her. I bet here, no matter how what when where, when she need a friend for help I'll be there for her. She meant what she trying to express to me and so me too =)Friend, you're the one who advised me don't hide myself and try to tell out what problem I'm facing when I facing something that I cannot go through. I wish you bear in mind what you told and advise me too. You're not alone. Yea, you might feel lonely sometimes, then think about me=) I will come to you when you need a friend. Don't hide yourself too! Everyone has their own story, everybody has their past. No people likes to disclose their past like headline news to everyone. Especially those bad memories. Somehow, we must remember one thing, we must always be alert on what we had experienced before don't let ourselves have a chance to make the same mistakes, doing the same decision regrets for 2nd time.Sometimes, we are just temporarily feel unconvincing, when the dense fog in front your eyes has lifted, you will be able to see it clear and know what to do, so don't give up easily! We are extremely fortunate not to know precisely the kind of world we live in..We all need courages, motives, and ... ... Like others people do!Frankly speaking, I'm a bit regret to tell you my story through the e-mail. Don't get me wrong. I not here to say that you will disclosed or what. Just that sometimes I will choose to keep rather than tell. Although you're my best friend but I just don't want you to hold the responsibility that keeps worrying on me like hell. I'm glad that I have such a friend like you. Lastly, take good care =) Wish to see you soon after Chinese New Year =)

Hesitate..

I met a friend I haven't seen for awhile. All the while, I'm hesitate and trying to evade. My friends have comforted me. It's hard for a long time, should we see each other again like before? Already 3 years time, I spent a long time and now my promise set me free. How you doing lately, everything alright? Truthfully from my heart, all along I always thought that I spent so much time and efford in my studies at Malaysia is nothing wrong. No doubt for this. You can't blame on me saying that I'm the one who give up my chance to further study design course at overseas because this is my personal choice and it's my own future. Isn't you're doing the same thing as you just left Malaysia and went to UK to continue your studies? So please don't say that I'm spiteful or desolate, don't say my decision is wrong. There's nothing right or wrong. Our own path decide by ourselves. Fine, leave as you wish just pass me by, just take the memories without regrets, I'm able to handle it. Didn't you say our future was more important and we'll always support each other decisions? Didn't you get what you wanted? What is it now? Why are you coming to me saying different things. Don't tell me how exhausted you were. I might as well pretend I couldn't hear you and hang up. Don't turn back and live your life well. I had a friend. He always tell me that I'm just pretending and covering myself. He used to said that I actually do still care about you. Everytime I chat with him, he used to advise me that do not evade because of fears. Perhaps I should give you another chance because you've done a lot of things because of me. I should say thanks to him. He's the one who makes me think and think and never force me to decide what or how should I do. Now, I'm here to tell my friend that at the first sight he's right because all the while I still hesitating. But eventually now I already makes everything clear. You and me is just friends, nothing more.As time flow, all the memories can be forgotten. New can erase old and replaced it. Don't say I'm cruel. You already fading from my memories, whether you believe it or not. Time we needed already expired. Things that you doing now, it might just because of your emotional impulse. Try to think what you really want. We already wasted each other a lots of time.